Nerdicus NES Review #128: Chubby Cherub

Title : Chubby Cherub

Publisher : Bandai

Developer : TOSE

Genre : Action

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1986

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $35-$40

If you're ever in the mood to play as a naked baby with wings chucking hearts at dogs and sucking on lollipops, well, CHUBBY CHERUB is the game for you. Just look at how happy that kid is. With his fluffy, blonde, flowing locks and his deformed body. It's such a bad 80's rendition of an anime character, but whatever will let it go.

Apparently, the original Japanese game was based on a ghost character Q-taro from a manga called Obake no Q-taro. Of course, to cater to the American audience, this game was ripped apart and re-titled since we would have had no idea what the heck it was about in the first place. Never did agree with that when they just translate games and remove all originality just to cater to a different audience but I get it. They need to sell the game somehow.

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Nerdicus SNES Review #37: Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure

Title : Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure

Publisher : Interplay

Developer : Interplay

Genre : Platformer

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1995

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $30-$35

Before I even get started on my review, let me just point you in the direction of the sidebar where I have recently added a YOUTUBE button (or you can just click on the link HERE). That's right, I'm dabbling in some youtube videos now. I'll be airing my retro hauls, as well as my twitch stream live plays of retro games. Hope you enjoy...now on to the review at hand.

Have you ever gotten caught picking your nose at work, at school, or while driving in your car? Well, don't feel bad about it, because picking your nose has been glorified in a video game. I mean, what other name can you play as a bum with a five o'clock shadow who destroys his enemies by farting and flinging boogers. Why, only Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure of course!

Alright, alright. It's impossible to resist playing a game with that type of title. Especially when you're young and immature. And the box art makes it look like it was some 90's Nickelodeon cartoon. In fact, making a TV show out of this probably would have been a good idea. I could picture it as a Saturday Morning cartoon, and I wouldn't mind eating my pop-tarts while I watched this. It wouldn't gross me out. Not one bit. I eat boogers for breakfast....used to...USED TO.

You know, I never knew it was a given that eccentric millionaires have alter-egos. In this case, Snotty Ragsdale. Come on...SNOTTY RAGSDALE. Who WOULDN'T want to play a game where you play as SNOTTY RAGSDALE. They really know how to reel a kid in with idiotic names and premises. Boogers and farts galore.

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Nerdicus NES Review #127: Chip 'N' Dale: Rescue Rangers 2

Title : Chip 'N' Dale: Rescue Rangers 2

Publisher : Capcom

Developer : Capcom

Genre : Action Platformer

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1994

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $130-$150

Are you ready for some more Chip 'N' Dale? I'm talking about the chipmunks, not the strippers. Get your mind out of the gutter, people. So...are those chip n dale dancers even around anymore? Not that I'm looking to hire them or something, I'm just trying to figure out if those are still legit business that are still in operations. I don't know what brides do during bridal showers anymore or bachelorette parties.

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. Enough male stripper talk. On to the game.

You probably remember a few days ago I was raving about Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers. It was one of those games that I couldn't stop playing, so of course you knew I was looking forward to replaying the second one. I regret to say, that I never owned this game when I was younger. In fact, I only played through it once after renting it from the local RKO Video (i never went to blockbuster - this place called RKO was always cheaper). Don't get me wrong, I wanted to buy this, but two things came into play.

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Nerdicus Genesis Review #32: Blaster Master 2

Title : Blaster Master 2

Publisher : Sunsoft

Developer : Software Creations Ltd

Genre : Run and Gun

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1993

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $7-$10

You know, I didn't even realize there was a second Blaster Master game until around four or five years ago. Some retro gamer, right? One of my favorite NES games as a kid, and I didn't even know there was a sequel for it! But, I have a reason for not knowing. I didn't own a Sega Genesis until I was in my 20's, so why would I know there was a second Blaster Master game, if I wasn't buying Genesis games?!

First off, I don't understand why Blaster Master moved from the Nintendo over to the Sega systems. I'm assuming Nintendo just decided not to continue with the series, or perhaps Sega offered more money for Sunsoft to publish it exclusively for them. After all, the game was a huge success on the NES. I don't know. I can safely say I am absolutely confused. You would think Blaster Master is a game you would want hold on to.

Anyway, bonus points to anyone who can let me know why Blaster Master moved to the Genesis. Back to the review at hand.

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Nerdicus NES Review #126: Chip 'N' Dale: Rescue Rangers

Title : Chip 'N' Dale: Rescue Rangers

Publisher : Capcom

Developer : Capcom

Genre : Action Platformer

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15-$20

We're going to do this. Get ready. You know what' Im doing. 3..2...1.

Sometimes. Some crimes go slippin through the cracks.

But these two, gumshoes, are pickin up the slack

There's no case too big. No Case too small.

When you need help just call.

CH-CH-CH-CHIP n DALE! RESCUE RANGERS!

This was it folks. This was the game that took over entire weekends when I first started playing it. For some reason, I never bought it, but I probably ended up spending the same amount of money from renting it all the damn time. First of all, I hated Chip N Dale when they were just regular annoying chipmunks in the older Disney Cartoons, but as soon as Rescue Rangers came out, I was hooked. Chip was a bad ass (even though he was too smug), and Dale was a riot in that Hawaiian shirt. And come on, ROBOTIC BULL DOGS AND FAT CAT!? Epic villains. So, of course, when this game rolled around, I needed it.

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Nerdicus SNES Review #36: BlaZeon: The Bio-Cyborg Challenge

Title : BlaZeon: The Bio-Cyborg Challenge

Publisher : Atlus

Developer : AI

Genre : Side-Scrolling Shooter

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1992

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $25-$30

Blazeon, eh? Sounds like an evolved form of Eevee. You know. Flareon. Umbreon. Jolteon..BLAZEON! Oh, that must be it! Blazeon is the mega-evolved form of Flareon. I see what they did there..it may have been 20 years ago but they knew what they were doing. Sucking us Pokemon lovers in.

Sorry to get your hopes up, but no, this isn't a Pokemon game. It's another side scrolling shooter. It may be a shmup, but you've gotta admit, that is some pretty bad-ass box art. It looks like it's pulled straight from an anime. I could only wish the actual game looked like it, but it doesn't. It isn't bad though, but it doesn't look that much different from all the others I've played on the 16-bit systems.

We may have some luck on our side though, as this game was published by ATLUS who was known for pumping out some high quality games back in the day. Hell, even the games they release now are typically better than average. Here's hoping they put a twist on the everyday shooter, and we may just have that.

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Nerdicus Retrospective : Retro Re-seller Rant

I'm taking a one day break from retro game reviews to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot the last year or so. I wasn't really going to write about this, but another article I stumbled upon actually triggered my desire to do so.

Let me just say this. I have been a gamer all my life, and have been obsessed with them since the age of three. Ever since I first laid my chubby little fingers on an Atari controller, I knew I was never going to stop gaming. I had hundreds of video games growing up, and most of them I received as gifts from my parents or relatives, but others I paid for with my own money from working odd end chores, or taking jobs. Hell, my first job was when I was sixteen and I ended up working at Electronics Boutique (remember that place?). Unfortunately, when I moved out and went to college, I needed all the money I could so I sold off basically my entire old video game collection. At that time, people weren't spending that much money on old video games, and I don't even think I made $500 off selling hundreds of NES / SNES / GENESIS games. The value today of all those games I sold would be $5000. I am not even joking about that. Think about how I feel now as I try to get my collection back. It's a rough road...

Before I even get started with my rant, I'd like to point you in the direction of the article I read that spurred this on, just you can understand the basis for this blog post. You can find it HERE, over at the COLEXIONS WEBSITE.

Mind you, the stories I'll be telling you in this long (yes, it will be long, so I'll have a TL:DR statement at the bottom), won't be as bad as the one you're reading in that link, but it all adds up to one major theme:

There is an epidemic.

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Nerdicus NES Review #125: Chessmaster

Title : Chessmaster

Publisher : Software Toolworks

Developer : Software Toolworks

Genre : Chess

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $2-$4

Quick shout out to my old high school Computer Programming teacher and Chess Club sponsor, Mr. Mulhearn. He actually had this game hooked up to a projector in case we didn't have enough chess tables set up during the after school program. What? You're actually surprised I was in chess club? I already mentioned it before. If you have been reading my reviews, you would have known already. GEEZ.

This is one of those games that makes me laugh for odd reasons. First of all, every time I see the box art or the cartridge, I always picture myself playing chess against Gandalf the Grey. Chess players don't look like wizards....unless your the chessmaster. Hell, I wanted to be chessmaster just so I can be a wizard. Just look at that beard.

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Nerdicus Genesis Review #31: Blades of Vengeance

Title : Blades of Vengeance

Publisher : Electronic Arts

Developer : Beam Software

Genre : Action Platformer

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1993

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15-$20

What can I say? I'm a sucker for fantasy platforming games. There is just something so extremely satisfying of taking your axe and burying it into the skull of a goblin, or casting a fiery explosion spell and watching a horde of skeletons burn to the ground into a pile of ash. What? I have a vivid imagination.

Check out that box art - I'm practically drooling. That's a D&D dream right there. And why do women never wear armor? I don't understand it. Is it to move quicker? Or is it to just flaunt their goods in order to distract their enemies. I shall never understand.

I'm actually quite upset, because I don't remember playing this game when I was a wee lad. In fact, the only time I remember seeing this was around 10 years ago when I was in my friends dorm room and he had his sega genesis hooked up to a 13 inch CRT. We were game-hopping, and we did happen to stumble upon this one. We didn't play long, but I DO remember wanting to keep playing. 

Can't really expect less from Electronic Arts, am I right? Back in the day, I feel like they were capable of so much more. Now all you hear from them is...E..A..SPORTS...its in the game (God, I hate that)

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Nerdicus NES Review #124: Championship Pool

Title : Championship Pool

Publisher : Mindscape

Developer : Bitmasters

Genre : Pool

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1993

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $2-$4

On our last episode of NERDICUS NES REVIEWS, we tackled Championship Bowling. Sporting our mighty pornstache, we were knocking down pins left and right, tackling those turkeys and landing those strikes. Meh, not really. But it wasn't too bad. We move away from our wrist brace ways and slip our gloves on for some Championship Pool.

I think I brought this up the last time I reviewed a pool game, but I'm too lazy to go back and check, but I am quite the pool hustler. Grew up with a pool table in my basement, and my friends and I would play almost nightly. When you're 16 and you have access to a pool table and a full service bar right downstairs, well you're going to take advantage of that. 

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Nerdicus SNES Review #35: Blackthorne

Title : Blackthorne

Publisher : Interplay

Developer : Blizzard

Genre : Cinematic Platformer

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1994

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15-$20

Before there was Warcraft. Before there was Starcraft. Before there was Diablo. Before Blizzard created any of their epic tales, they dabbled in some console games. They were pretty good games, but nothing really memorable. I had played Lost Vikings quite a bit when I was a kid, but that was about it. Hell, that game wasn't even a Blizzard game though. It was actually developed under their old company name, Silicon & Synapse.

Blizzard didn't really grab me until I played Warcraft for the PC, which I believe actually came out around the same time as Blackthorne. It took me awhile to realize that I had actually played Blizzard games on the 'ol 16-bit consoles. I had always thought Blizzard was just that Warcraft company. Lo and behold, they weren't. Sure they only had a few games out, but every company has to start somewhere.

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Nerdicus NES Review #124: Championship Bowling

Title : Championship Bowling

Publisher : Romstar / Athena

Developer : Athena

Genre : Bowling

Players : 1-4 Players

Release Date : 1989

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $2-$4

One thing this game DID get right was the portrayal of a 1980's bowler. Come on. That box art is absolutely perfect. The v neck shirt exposing the tufts of professional chest hair. The perfect pornstache. Those white slacks, and perfect positioning. I am upset however they did not include the bowling brace. I feel like that is what REALLY makes a bowler a bowler.

Sorry, I'm making fun of bowling. Probably because I suck at it. Me putting spin on the ball is just asking for the ball to fling into my neighbors lane and decapitate him. Give me those bumpers! Yeah! Six year old birthday parties!

Nightmares....so many nightmares.

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Nerdicus Genesis Review #30: Bio-Hazard Battle

Title : Bio-Hazard Battle

Publisher : Sega

Developer : Sega

Genre : Side-Scrolling Shooter

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1992

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $3-$5

One thing is for sure, there certainly isn't a shortage of side-scrolling shooters on the 16-bit systems. I'm roughly 60 reviews in, and I think I've played at least 10. Might be a bit of an exaggeration, but certainly feels like it. Probably because they all feel the damn same. Listen, I know these games are quite possibly the easiest to reproduce and pump out, but come on. They get SOOOO OLDDDDDDDDDDD.

Oh, and don't be fooled by the name BIO-HAZARD. This has nothing to do with Resident Evil. The game probably would have been better if it was a side scrolling shooter based on resident evil. Imagine, flying on the back of nemesis, screaming "STAAAAAAAAAAAARS" while you're blowing up Raccoon City Police. Right? RIGHT!?

I can dream....

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Nerdicus NES Review #123: Caveman Games

Title : Caveman Games

Publisher : Data East

Developer : Data East

Genre : Track 'N' Field (sort of?)

Players : 1-4 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $7-$10

It's been awhile since we've reviewed a track 'n' field type game, and I'll be honest when I say I'm not looking forward to doing another one. Until I saw what I was reviewing. This game is bad, I'll admit. But I actually have fond memories of it from when I was a kid. I was obsessed with Cavemen and dinosaurs, and seriously considered being an archaeologist for a time. It soon faded, but the game entertained me nonetheless.

The Caveman premise was something I couldn't resist. I wouldn't be surprised if 8 year old me was thinking that millions of years ago, Cavemen were taking part in the same games, and this must be an accurate representation of the sort of competitions the Cavemen undertook in order to take over their tribes.

I'm kidding, I wasn't that dumb. But it would be hilarious if this was like some discovery channel documentary on the history of Caveman Sports. Although, I do prefer the alternate title to this game rather than "CAVEMAN GAMES". The other version out for the Commodore was called CAVEMAN UGHLYMPICS.

LET THE HILARITY ENSUE!!! This game is filled with campy caveman humor! Seriously, one of the things this game has going for it is its humor elements. It's actually quite funny.

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Nerdicus SNES Review #34: Disney's Aladdin

Title : Aladdin

Publisher : Capcom

Developer : Capcom

Genre : Action Platformer

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1993

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $7-$10

Last night, we lost a comedic genius. The power of humor, and the ability to make others laugh is a genuine gift, and Robin Williams was exceptional at it. He was full of so much energy and life, and there isn't a doubt in my mind that it will never be replaced in the entertainment industry.

It almost felt like this loss hit closer to home, mainly because Robin Williams was one of the major reasons I started getting into voice acting and impersonations. It's not my profession, but it's something I do on the side, and to lose one of my inspirations like that, makes you appreciate what they had to offer even more.

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