Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Nerdicus NES Review #146: Cool World

Title : Cool World

Publisher : Ocean

Developer : Ocean

Genre : Action

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1993

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15-$20

Am I the only one who hated this movie? COOL WORLD to me was too much of a Who Framed Roger Rabbit rip off. Or maybe it's because I'm such an avid fan of Roger Rabbit I refuse to appreciate this film. Nah, the film was a waste. Plot was weak, characters were a bore, and I'm sorry but she is NO Jessica Rabbit.

But, like with most movies, there's gotta be a video game to go along with it. COOL WORLD for the NES was of course released to coincide the movie, but it really is very loosely based on it. It was really just an excuse for Ocean to milk money off Brad Pitt's sexiness, eh? 

Makes you wonder why Brad Pitt even agreed to do this garbage film? It certainly was probably his lowest point of his career. Let's just say this game is probably one of Ocean's lowest points as well. Then again, they were pretty much known for coming out with a huge slush pile of crappy games with decent ones sprinkled on top.
Still, can't say this game is as bad as the WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT game...only around 600 more games to go until I review that one, but at least this preps me for the atrocities to come.

Let's not waste any more time and just jump into COOL WORLD - too bad it's not a COOL game. OH MAN...see what I did there? I'm hilarious..almost as hilarious as this crappy game and movie.

Shame on you Brad Pitt.

In Cool World, you play as Brad Pitt's character from the movie, Detective Frank Harris, tasked with recovering five pieces of a tunnel map that'll bridge the cartoon world and the real world. The sexy 'ol Holli Would (HOLLYWOOD...oh my!) is attempting to become a permanent resident in the real world and she will use any means necessary to accomplish that. Even if that means sending an army of doodles to kill you. All in a world that's like a kiddy version of SIN CITY.

Yup, the premise is almost as bad as the one from the movie. I'll go back to Roger least THAT movie had a well designed plot.

But forget the plot, the game is all about hopping around side scrolling levels, collecting the tunnel piece, ultimately unlocking the fifth level and completing the game. As quickly as possible mind you. You don't want to suffer through this that long.

At first I though this game was going to be a breeze, but it really is quite confusing as hell. You've got a pen..that's your weapon. Which I always failed at using for some reason. Then you've got your eraser....which...erases things....then you've got your special bombs. I mean seriously there is so much crap you are given in this game and I don't even know what half of them do because the game doesn't tell you anything.

Even the riddles in the game that you are supposed to solve...and you have to love old fashioned, poorly designed, 8-bit riddles.....THEY MAKE NO SENSE!! What am I supposed to do? Throw balloons up in the air and have them pop on an invisible switch? That's not even a joke..that's a serious part of the game.

It would have been better off if this game was just a straight forward action beat em up where you just kill toons. At least that's fun. COOL WORLD is supposed to be fun!! In fact, the only time I remotely enjoyed the game was during the highly irritating boss fights. 

The game is just a huge pile of turds. I reached in for my inner AVGN for this one. The graphics are ridiculous, especially for a game out in 1993. The animations make absolutely no sense, especially when you get to the bosses and larger designed characters that DON'T EVEN ANIMATE. They just bounce around as static images. Talk about lazy.

The sound effects and music sound like they were ripped from a 1980s pc game. The bleeding from my ears was expected.

If you liked the movie, and I don't know why you did, then you may like this game. Although I highly doubt it....if you didn't like the movie, play the game anyway, because you'll get the same thing out of it. Absolutely nothing! Two pieces of garbage, and Brad Pitt disappointed me.

Can't wait for Roger Rabbit...

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!



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