Nerdicus NES Review # 188 : Double Dragon 2: The Revenge

Title : Double Dragon 2: The Revenge

Publisher : Acclaim

Developer : Acclaim

Genre : Beat 'em Up

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

Oy! Every so often I look at my blog, and think to myself, "Damn, I need more free time to update it like I used to." Don't worry, folks. I promise, more updates will be coming soon. Still trying to combine the blog and the youtube channel, and it's hectic as hell with work and all that good 'ol personal life business. Seriously, I wish I could just game 24/7, ha!

And a reminder - here's a link to my youtube channel. Actually have a 150 sub contest going on, so if you want a chance to win some free video games, be sure to check it out!

150 SUB CONTEST - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w62TK_01Y60

Last time we did a NES review, we were rocking out on one of the most memorable (and most difficult) beat 'em ups, DOUBLE DRAGON. Well, BIMMY AND JIMMY are back, and this time they are going to get some revenge. After all, Marian just got shot, and well, that doesn't bode to well for the Mysterious Warrior. I really wish they kept the same name as the arcade version for the main antagonist.

I mean, come on. MYSTERIOUS WARRIOR....or MACHINE GUN WILLY. Then you'd have BIMMY (billy), JIMMY, and WILLY. Is it me, or was there some sort of obsession with names ending in "y"

Hope you guys are thirsty for some beat 'em up love, because we're going in hot. 

While I am a huge fan of the Double Dragon series, I have to say I really regret some of the changes that were made from the ARCADE versions to the NINTENDO. I know they had some limitations, but idiotic things like name changes, and even level / enemy designs sort of irk me. I always wished they stayed as true to the original as possible, but you know what I guess you also have to think about it as a fresh start for the 8-bit systems. An opportunity to adapt on an already huge success. With that said, let's get started.

As stated earlier, the famed martial artists Billy and Jimmy are off to get revenge over the death of their lady friend Marian. I really think Marian is sleeping with both of them, but that's just me. You'll have to battle your way through 9 pretty large stages in order to face your final foe, and trust me when I say you'll have tears streaming down your face from the incredible difficulty this game challenges you with.

I swear, you would think these games would get easier as you play them, but nope. They are relentless. At least this game gives you the opportunity to access the entire move sets instead of "leveling up" your characters which is somewhat of an advantage. Still, you need to learn how to properly use these moves as well as adapt to the somewhat irritating hit detection. At least it was better than the first game.

Compared to the first game, the fighting mechanics and controls are a lot smoother, and even the animations feel a bit more fluid. There's a nice variation in enemy design, with a few changes made from the arcade version that gave enemies access to various weapons, adding a bit more uniqueness to the way the NES version was developed. It was always nice to see an enemy hitting you over the head with a pipe.

Still, I feel like the easiest way to defeat an enemy in this game is to just spam special moves and make sure you don't get trapped at the edges of the screen. Either that, or grab them with a nice knee to the face. Doesn't always work though, so you have to be careful. Choose wisely, spam buttons and hope you get the first punch in, or be calm and cautious with each enemy you face.

One thing that CONTINUED to irritate me was the platforming elements. A beat 'em up does not need this, and the controls are NOT made for it. It's like that damn jump in the original TMNT game near the end where you have to be in a precise spot to make some dumb ass one gap jump. Just let me beat the crap out of people, I don't need to make jumps. I'll jump when I want to kick.

From a brilliant soundtrack, to much-improved controls, to a difficulty setting that'll make you cry to your mommy and then scream with joy when you finally beat the damn game, DOUBLE DRAGON 2 offers quite a bit for the average NES gamer.

It's one of those games that you just want to invite your friend over and ask, "You ready? ARE YOU READY!?" - grab a beer, play the game, and ignore your loved ones as you spend an hour or two trudging your way through each level. Oh that glorious feeling when you reach the cut scenes between levels, that were a very nice addition by the way. It actually made you feel more connected to the Lee's story.

Stay tuned for the next NES review, where we finish off the DOUBLE DRAGON series with #3...my personal favorite.

Final Score (out of 5) :



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

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Nerdicus NES Review #187: Double Dragon

Title : Double Dragon

Publisher : Tradewest

Developer : Technos Japan

Genre : Beat 'em Up

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1988

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $10 - $15

Ahh, tis been awhile since I graced my blog with a video game review, and I am due. My apologies again for the lack of daily updates, but I mentioned before that I am hardcore editing my latest novel right now for submission, as well as building up my youtube channel.

A note! Any contests Ill be having in the future will be held strictly through my youtube channel by way of SUB contests and random contests, so be sure to check out my channel by following the link below! The 100 sub contest is close at hand, and you don't want to miss it!

NERDICUS : LIFE OF A GAMER NERD

So, here we are, and by the title of the review I'm sure you know what we're getting ourselves into. DOUBLE DRAGON. Those words bring back so many gaming memories from when I was a tiny tyke. I spent days, upon days attempting to beat this game and not even coming close. I didn't even know this was an arcade game back then. In fact, I just wanted it to play it all the time for two reasons. 1) There were martial artists on the cover kicking some major ass 2) There was a dragon in the title, and you know how I am a sucker for dragons.

Little did I know, that when I started playing this game, it would be the beginning of a 30 year journey until I finally beat it. WHICH I DID....GOD DAMMIT..I DID!!

As soon as you start up the game, you are greeted with some of the most epic music for the NES. I can't even deny it, but this soundtrack is up there in my top ten for greatest soundtracks on the original Nintendo. It's THAT good.

The game has 2 modes - the normal story line mode, and something that is so epic it can only be classified as EXTREME FIGHTING. I'm talking about mode b. I'll talk about this briefly, but it was seriously one of the coolest additions to any game I played. It actually takes 5 of the characters from the Double Dragon game, and pits them in a standard street fighter-styled fighting mini-game. The use of over sized sprites, and the ability to battle against your friend is something that is irresistible. Come on, who didn't play this with a buddy and race head on into each other only to collide and send each other reeling?

Sure, it's not that great, but it was a hell of a lot of fun. Then again, the NES wasn't really built for fighting games so what the hell are you expecting.

Moving on to mode a, which is the actual story line, you really only have a one player mode, although it does give you the two player option. But two players is really just alternating between the same character and switching off, so it's not as fun as the future Double Dragons where you get actual co-op. Once again, this was due to the programming limitations at the time, but was rectified with the sequels (thankfully).

The game starts with your girlfriend getting punched right in the stomach. That's right. PUNCHED. NINTENDO RELEASED A GAME WHERE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS LITERALLY KNOCKED OUT! I was shocked. Seriously flabbergasted. Of course, as the protagonist, you are seeking out your so-called friend and are about to return the favor. But you have to get through his gang of minions first.

The bottom of the screen shows all the information you'll need to play through the game. Your lives, your points, a life meter, and another meter which is ACTUALLY your move sets. The more enemies you kill, the more move points you earn which allows you to pull off new martial art attacks like flipping the enemy over your back, or doing spin kicks. Trust me, it's worth it to kill everyone and anyone, and there are even some areas where you can repeatedly kill the same guy over and over to ensure you have as many moves as possible early in the game.

You'll battle your way through each level, taking on two enemies at a time on the screen until you can move on to the next portion. And don't think just because you're fighting two enemies that this game will be easy. No...especially not when you're dealing with that bald headed beast, ABOBO. GOD, HOW I HATE ABOBO!!!

And what's worse than one ABOBO? TWO ABOBOS!

Visually, the game is a masterpiece for 1988. It's pretty damn close to the arcade, and the sequels get progressively "prettier." Character designs, and animations are downright flawless (and funny), and the backgrounds and level designs are spot on.

Now, in terms of controls, this game takes quite a bit of getting used to. It's stiff, and slow, even though you can run a bit. Running won't save you though, especially when you are forced to take out enemies that downright brutalize you. And have fun with that hit detection because it can be a pain in the ass at times.

Despite the controls and sloppy mechanics that are rough around the edges, the gameplay is still spot on and addictive and it keeps you coming back for more. The more you die, the more frustrated you get, and the more you want to beat this damn game. It took me 30 yeas I tell you, but I finally did it. I'm not crying...they are tears of joy.

Can't wait to review the upcoming DD games, starring our pals BIMMY AND JIMMY.

Final Score (out of 5) :



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

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Nerdicus NES Review #186: Double Dare

Title : Double Dare

Publisher : GameTek

Developer : RARE

Genre : Game Show

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $10 - $15

Ahhh, the memories of childhood afternoons watching Nickelodeon. All the great shows were on that channel. You had Weinerville, Nick Arcade, Eureka's Castle, Legend's of the Hidden Temple, GUTS, and of course, DOUBLE DARE. Sure these were the "live action" shows, and I don't even have to get into the list of cartoons. When you were a kid, your life REVOLVED around Nickelodeon.

Channel 22 for the old school cable box users who had that old switch box. AM I RIGHT!?

 When you tell me that Nintendo released a DOUBLE DARE game, I can't help but think that this is going to be my only opportunity to take part in the show that every kid dreamed of.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't want to crawl through an ear canal filled with gooey wax just to grab a flag. And who DIDN'T want to get slimed!? I remember going to Nickelodeon Studios in Florida and begging...no...PLEADING with my parent's to take my to a live taping. Never did....ah well. Guess I had to stick with the TV. 

So, when this game came out, I had to play it like there was no tomorrow. In fact, it came out for DOS in 1988, but I don't even remember having a computer back then, so I must have only played it on the Nintendo. Sure, it's Double Dare...but you can't even compare it to the TV show.

This is the type of game that you practically NEED to play with a friend. After all, it's the closest you're going to get to a real live Double Dare competition, so you need to bring your friend in on it. Complaint #1 however...that does NOT look like Mark Summers. And it's weird how your forced to choose one of each gender...did Double Dare only pick out the generic American Family with a Mom, Dad, Bro and Sis?! Seriously!?

It plays out just like the TV show however, with 2 rounds of 10 trivia questions (which are utterly random) and of course the Obstacle Course. In between trivia questions, there's also the "challenge" obstacles that you'll have to play and those were always the best. Gotta love it when the families said in unison....after whispering to each other of course...PHYSICAL CHALLENGE. BRING IT ON SUMMERS!!!!

Speaking of Summers...who remembers Summer Sanders...I had a little bit of a crush on her lol.

Trivia rounds are preceded by toss up challenges where you'll do a basic "physical hit the target challenger" Winner gets control of the "board" so it's not that really a big deal. But forget about that, let's get into the mechanics.

The trivia section is fine...it's like Jeopardy. But no one cares about the Trivia portion. It's all about the physical challenges, and here is where the game flounders. The controls are clunky, and it is incredibly sluggish. All the kids must not be physically adept because they run as if they are weighted down with cement shoes.

But at least they do pull a lot of the obstacles from the TV show. You'll encounter these if you make it to the last obstacle course (which you'll lose anyway, just like 99% of the kids on the show)

ONE TON HUMAN HAMSTER WHEEL
DALLAS OIL SLICK
THE TANK
MONKEY BARS
MOUNT ST DOUBLE DARE
FIREMANS FLAGPOLE
MOON WALK

Of course, if you do win, you'll be granted some killer prizes that'll pop out of the back of your NES console. That would be incredible, right?

What can you expect from a game like this? Not much, but as a kid you expected the world. Graphically, it's meh. The soundtrack is okay. But it's the controls and speed that kill it. It's the slowest moving "race" against the clock in a physical based game show.

Still, it does kick up a lot of nostalgia, and it's not THAT bad. Best with a friend, so you can goof off on how you wish you were actually on the show. DARE....DOUBLE DARE!

Final Score (out of 5)



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

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Nerdicus NES Review #185: Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Title : Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Edutainment

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1985

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $40 - $50

A very happy Easter to everyone out there! I'm back from my "mini-vacation", with another quick update. I'll be switching my blog schedule to M-W-F for the time being. I'm swamped with my book edits and other side-jobs and really have to focus on getting those done so I can pitch in the next month. Publishing is fun!

Anyway, I'm back at it, and what do I have to look forward to?

Edutainment. 

Don't get me started on this garbage. Listen, I'm all for education, but the last thing I need is math equations interfering with my Donkey Kong playing. Hell, there is a reason why Nintendo decided to toss future edutainment games out the window after DONKEY KONG JR. MATH. BECAUSE IT DIDN'T SELL...AT ALL!! They overproduced this garbage, thinking parents would be all over it, but nope. Any parent that bought this for their child was greeted with tears and screams of their children. 

"MOM!?! How am I supposed to play a game if I have to solve long division equations!? WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME!"

Followed by utter abandonment by their children, and their video game lives being ruined. Luckily, I didn't have to suffer through this, because I already suffered through the monstrosity of some Math Racing game for the Atari. The only way you can move your car forward is if you solve a math problem. No thank you. I'd rather just press a button and go faster.

Hmm..maybe my distaste for math in video games is the reason why I am so bad at math today. *shrugs* Probably.

Anyway, let's get this garbage over with. Oh why couldn't be like edutainment games that are out now...you know..actually fun!?

Even the title screen is depressing. Look at that..MATH...in big bold letters..And it doesn't even give you an option for player 1 or player 2...it's CALCULATE..or + - X exercises! WHY!! Where is the QUIT option!!!

Here's how the game works...you're not even trying to beat Donkey Kong, or rescue him. Nope, he's challenging his little brats with math problems. CALCULATE A is the easier of the two, so of course I'm playing that because knowing my lack of math prowess I would fail miserably at CALCULATE B.

Donkey Kong will hold up a number, and it's up to you to create a math equation to reach that number. Sounds fun? Yeah, exactly.

Take a look at this one. You've got +16. So in order to reach 16, you can find a number 8, and use the multiplication symbol and add a 2. 8 x 2 = 16. YOU WIN! Of course, you can go about it any way you want. In two player mode, it's basically a race to see who can make a formula quicker, and thus getting bragging rights.

I'll say it one more time....the game is NOT fun.

 It's funny to think how a game like this has crappy controls, but it does. Controlling JR is a pain in the arse, and I REALLY don't like the fact that I'm climbing vines to make my choices of numbers or symbols, but they really are trying to combine game mechanics and education mechanics. 

One of the reasons why I feel like this never works. 

Visually, it's the same as the other DK games, just with more numbers on the screen. In fact, the only thing this game has going for it, is the music which is only SLIGHTLY entertaining.

God, why did I have to review this. What's the score? You guessed it. A big FAT 1. And how do you get to 1? 1 + 0 = 1...this game deserves a 0 though.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

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Nerdicus NES Review #184 : Donkey Kong 3

 

Title : Donkey Kong 3

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Arcade

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1986

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

My apologies for the delays between reviews everyone, but my schedule has been incredibly hectic the last month. I'm building up my youtube channel now for my Let's Suck Videos as well as Retro Haul pick ups, so that's taking up a lot of my time as I attempt to get that ball rolling. It's a hell of fun though, so I'll say that much! Not fun playing through all these crappy games again though one at a time! Thank God, I'm not attempting to beat them all...hahah. So if you're looking for a laugh, and a crappy gamer playing crappy games, check out the channel! Here's a link - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAOo7kEqWeLGfudA8FMJSUw

Besides that, I'm working on a lot of writing projects that are taking up a HUGE amount of time. First off, I'm developing a comic script with a friend of mine that we hope to stop banging out within the next few months. A little online project we've wanted to do for awhile, separate from the old web comics we used to do that were just 3 panel strips. This time, it's more of an online graphic novel. Will post more info on that once it gets closer.

AND finally, I'm working on edits for the next book my agent and I are looking to submit to publishers, so that's the biggy. And if any of you have ever written a book before, and know about the editing, proposal, and submission process...you know how mind numbing it could be!

So, it's time for another Donkey Kong game, and we're at it with DONKEY KONG 3. A weird, little arcade mix where you're literally blasting Donkey Kong up the butt with a water gun. I don't get it...I really don't. But that's really what you do.

This time, instead of playing as JUMP MAN. You're playing as STANLEY THE BUG MAN. Yup, BUG MAN. Donkey Kong apparently has decided to invade some violent hives of jungle insects, which are destroying Stanley's flowers. So, of course, as Stanley, you need to stop Donkey Kong. With a high powered water hose....up the butt....

The game is actually loosely based on another arcade game called SPACE FIREBIRD, that I never played before. It's like a cut and paste, with the Donkey Kong image just plastered all over. I'd prefer Donkey Kong anyway...he's so angry when he gets smacked in the butt with water. Angry enough to climb up a vine and shove his head in a bee hive.

The game is a tad bit different than DK 1 and 2 because in this game, you're not trying to get to the top. Instead, you're running Stanley from left to right, and blasting Donkey Kong and the bugs in order to get Donkey Kong to the top of the screen. He's constantly dropping along 2 vines, and you have to dodge all the incoming insects and focus on spraying him until his head reaches a bee hive and gets trapped inside.

You'll be granted a super soaker spray gun every so often that allows for some insane rapid fire, and really helps in blasting Donkey Kong up quicker, but it only lasts a few seconds. So you really need to take advantage of it when you can.

Much like all the other DK's, there are only a few levels that end up repeating and increase in difficulty. Faster bugs, Faster DK, and more finger mashing. 

There's one major flaw with this game. It doesn't feel like Donkey Kong. In fact, it's probably the worst of the 3 arcade games. Sure, its a bit more visually appealing than the rest, but the game doesn't seem to offer that much in terms of challenging gameplay. It's more of a button masher.

Another wrong direction move was that there are only 3 different level designs, instead of the typical 4. I know 4 isn't even a lot, but they couldn't just work on making one more? The game is just too damn repetitive as it is, and even in the higher difficulties there's not enough variation to make it interesting.

Unfortunately, this game didn't hook me as much as the other two, and in a way fails as really setting itself apart from other arcade classics. For me, it felt like it was just milking the DK name. 

Shame on you DK..prepare yourself for more water in your butt. Enema time!

Final Score (out of 5)



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

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Nerdicus NES Review #183: Donkey Kong Jr.

Title : Donkey Kong Jr.

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Arcade

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1986

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

Happy Monday, folks! Sorry for the delayed review (and short because holy cow I'm actually swamped at work! That's a shocker). We're moving on to Donkey Kong Jr. which is a nice little twist from the original Donkey Kong. And no, Donkey Kong Jr. isn't Diddy Kong or anything. In fact, I forgot what it was from the cartoon series...but isn't Donkey Kong Jr. the Donkey Kong from Donkey Kong country, or am I completely wrong?

Remember? That CG cartoon that used to be on TV? It had that old Kong, that I actually think was the Donkey Kong from the arcades, and DKC DK was DKJR....looks like I have some research to do, unless someone wants to fill in the blanks for me lol.

This was another one of those games that tortured me. Why? Because it's insanely difficult, and the game just tortures you left and right. Me and Arcades do NOT mix. AT ALL>

Still, look at that one piece underwear bit he's wearing. So cute...SUCH A CUTE LITTLE MONKEY..er ape..

Instead of rescuing a damsel in distress, you actually are tasked with rescuing DONKEY KONG from the clutches of the vicious Mario. Think about it. Mario just kills everyone with no regard for anybody's feelings. He's the real bastard.

The concept otherwise remains the same. Get Donkey Kong Jr up to the top of the map and vanquish Mario (temporarily) in order to rescue your pops. Of course, Mario will be tossing anything he can at you in order to halt your progress. I'm talking flaming barrels, electric balls, and killer spikes. Oh, and you also have crazed wild animals to deal with like annoying birds and what I think are mosquitos. At least I think they are. Or maybe they're floating alligator heads on ropes. WHO KNOWS! The game is bizarre with their enemy slection.

There's four stages, each with a different theme that repeat every time you cycle through them. Difficulty of course increases with each pass through in terms of the rate of speed at which enemies come at you, and the randomness. Hell, I have a hard time getting through the first pass.

The only difference between the goals of the four stages, is that on the fourth stage you need to to unlock the cage that DK is trapped in. Sort of like how in the first DK you need to remove the pillars in order to have DK fall.

Some people may think that this is just a copy and paste of DK, which it sort of is, but the play through as DK JR and the redesigned levels still give the game a fresh look and feel. Controls seem to be a tad bit smoother and ab it more user friendly, and I didn't find myself having as hard of a time dodging the incoming projectiles.

Still, the game is also one of the most difficult arcade games out there, as well as being one of the most famous ones. I still have a few more DK games to get through, so bear with me on this. But trust me, I'm having fun reliving the torture that is DK. GOOD TORTURE.

Now someone explain to me who DK JR is again....

Final Score (out of 5)



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

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