Funco Land - A land of

Where kids came to trade in their games for $3 and buy pre-owned ones for $50 with nice colorful cases. The good 'ol days!

Toys'R'Us Video Game Slips Nostalgia

When all it took was a video game slip to purchase your favorite video game

A Re-seller RANT

The days of where we could find NES and SNES games for a few dollars are gone...thanks to the RESELLER. A RANT.

How I let EARTHBOUND slip through my fingers...

My ultimate prize...gone again.

The Ultimate NES Review Collection

Join me as I suffer through every single NES game known to man! Prepare yourself!

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Nerdicus NES Review #187: Double Dragon

Title : Double Dragon

Publisher : Tradewest

Developer : Technos Japan

Genre : Beat 'em Up

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1988

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $10 - $15

Ahh, tis been awhile since I graced my blog with a video game review, and I am due. My apologies again for the lack of daily updates, but I mentioned before that I am hardcore editing my latest novel right now for submission, as well as building up my youtube channel.

A note! Any contests Ill be having in the future will be held strictly through my youtube channel by way of SUB contests and random contests, so be sure to check out my channel by following the link below! The 100 sub contest is close at hand, and you don't want to miss it!


So, here we are, and by the title of the review I'm sure you know what we're getting ourselves into. DOUBLE DRAGON. Those words bring back so many gaming memories from when I was a tiny tyke. I spent days, upon days attempting to beat this game and not even coming close. I didn't even know this was an arcade game back then. In fact, I just wanted it to play it all the time for two reasons. 1) There were martial artists on the cover kicking some major ass 2) There was a dragon in the title, and you know how I am a sucker for dragons.

Little did I know, that when I started playing this game, it would be the beginning of a 30 year journey until I finally beat it. WHICH I DID....GOD DAMMIT..I DID!!

As soon as you start up the game, you are greeted with some of the most epic music for the NES. I can't even deny it, but this soundtrack is up there in my top ten for greatest soundtracks on the original Nintendo. It's THAT good.

The game has 2 modes - the normal story line mode, and something that is so epic it can only be classified as EXTREME FIGHTING. I'm talking about mode b. I'll talk about this briefly, but it was seriously one of the coolest additions to any game I played. It actually takes 5 of the characters from the Double Dragon game, and pits them in a standard street fighter-styled fighting mini-game. The use of over sized sprites, and the ability to battle against your friend is something that is irresistible. Come on, who didn't play this with a buddy and race head on into each other only to collide and send each other reeling?

Sure, it's not that great, but it was a hell of a lot of fun. Then again, the NES wasn't really built for fighting games so what the hell are you expecting.

Moving on to mode a, which is the actual story line, you really only have a one player mode, although it does give you the two player option. But two players is really just alternating between the same character and switching off, so it's not as fun as the future Double Dragons where you get actual co-op. Once again, this was due to the programming limitations at the time, but was rectified with the sequels (thankfully).

The game starts with your girlfriend getting punched right in the stomach. That's right. PUNCHED. NINTENDO RELEASED A GAME WHERE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS LITERALLY KNOCKED OUT! I was shocked. Seriously flabbergasted. Of course, as the protagonist, you are seeking out your so-called friend and are about to return the favor. But you have to get through his gang of minions first.

The bottom of the screen shows all the information you'll need to play through the game. Your lives, your points, a life meter, and another meter which is ACTUALLY your move sets. The more enemies you kill, the more move points you earn which allows you to pull off new martial art attacks like flipping the enemy over your back, or doing spin kicks. Trust me, it's worth it to kill everyone and anyone, and there are even some areas where you can repeatedly kill the same guy over and over to ensure you have as many moves as possible early in the game.

You'll battle your way through each level, taking on two enemies at a time on the screen until you can move on to the next portion. And don't think just because you're fighting two enemies that this game will be easy. No...especially not when you're dealing with that bald headed beast, ABOBO. GOD, HOW I HATE ABOBO!!!

And what's worse than one ABOBO? TWO ABOBOS!

Visually, the game is a masterpiece for 1988. It's pretty damn close to the arcade, and the sequels get progressively "prettier." Character designs, and animations are downright flawless (and funny), and the backgrounds and level designs are spot on.

Now, in terms of controls, this game takes quite a bit of getting used to. It's stiff, and slow, even though you can run a bit. Running won't save you though, especially when you are forced to take out enemies that downright brutalize you. And have fun with that hit detection because it can be a pain in the ass at times.

Despite the controls and sloppy mechanics that are rough around the edges, the gameplay is still spot on and addictive and it keeps you coming back for more. The more you die, the more frustrated you get, and the more you want to beat this damn game. It took me 30 yeas I tell you, but I finally did it. I'm not crying...they are tears of joy.

Can't wait to review the upcoming DD games, starring our pals BIMMY AND JIMMY.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Nerdicus Genesis Review #50 : Comix Zone

Title : Comix Zone

Publisher : Sega

Developer : Sega Technical Institute

Genre : Beat 'Em Up

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1995

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

Little fun fact about me (in case you didn't know already); I dabbled in the comic book industry. That's right. This writer right here, was part of the famed Marvel / DC comic boom! Honestly, no. I never did any real work for Marvel and DC and in fact the only work I did was for independent publishers and a few of the semi-big ones (Image / Dark Horse). Now, those jobs were only acquired by connections, and the only things I did were basic coloring gigs (mostly flats with a few pages of details). 

Hell, the comic book industry is incredibly tough to break into, so if you're trying to, good luck. I'm going to stick with my writing career, which unfortunately is just as difficult. I've chosen some good careers, haven't I?

Now, I've been a comic book buff since I could first read. In fact comic books HELPED me LEARN how to read. No joke. Images + Dialogue = securing a reader's attention. So of course, my love for comics would make me a sucker for comic book based video games. COMIX ZONE for Sega Genesis though, isn't based on any comic book I know, but rather pits you, the player, into a comic book world. Just think about getting sucked into a comic book and having to battle you're way out.....

Sort of like the video for TAKE ON ME.....ha...funny.

1995 is a little bit late for a sega release, but you know what, we still have to give it a shot anyway. Hopefully the comic-styled inspiration can set this game apart from some of the other beat 'em ups..or maybe this should get tossed right into the paper shredder.

And Inkers aren't tracers.

COMIX ZONE stars Sketch Turner (wow...what a name), a starving artist from NYC. Now listen, I've been a starving artist all my life, and we don't all look like this. So, you're working on your brand, spanking new comic called COMIX ZONE about aliens invading earth (yay originality). Here's the kicker, which is quite the fun idea. Now, one night lightning strikes a page of Sketch's comics. Why he would be drawing in a place where lightning could randomly enter in through an open window and electrocute him is beyond me. Now, the powers of lightning end up pulling out the villain from the comic, Mortus, into the real world. What Mortus ends up doing, is shoving YOU into the comic where he draws an endless stream of enemies to kill you. Because, you know, that's what happens when you're brought to life out of a comic.

There's actually QUITE a few twists and turns throughout the game, which I won't spoil for you here if you decide to play it, but what makes this even more incredible is that this is a beat 'em up with TWO ENDINGS! WOW! Of course, one is is bad. But you'll figure it out.

As with any platformer, you'd expect to move side to side, but COMIX ZONE gives it a bit of a variation. Instead of just moving from side to side, you are moving through panels of your own comic strip. Talking about breaking the fourth wall! It's a really clever way of changing up the standard, and brings some fresh life into an otherwise saturated game genre.

Punching and kicking your way through the panels is all well and good, but  you'll also have access to 3 available item slots which you can store pick ups you find along the way. Anything from iced tea to restore your health ( I think it's actually an alcoholic beverage ), bombs and knives for killing, or blowing up barriers, his pet rat...

Okay..hold on. I know we're starving artists but we just don't automatically keep pet rats...well, this guy finds treasure on the screen.

Then there's the SUPER FIST which transforms you into SUPER SKETCH. JOY!

Another little trick is that you can rip off the background of the page and turn into a deadly paper airplane (at expense of some of your health) and use it as a super weapon which can both destroy enemies and damage you greatly if you're not careful. I honestly, forgot entirely about it through most of the playthrough, and only used it once.

I was hooked on this gamer, but it's not without it's problems. First of all, it's INSANELY SHORT. I'm talking only a few levels, and you're done. At least that makes it easy to get both endings but still, I would at least like to play for an hour or 2...not a half hour. 

Secondly, it's hard. I'm talking REALLY HARD. This is one of the most difficult beat 'em ups I have ever played. For some reason, the enemies are just way too overpowered and are able to kill you in a few hits, while you have to punch them thirty or forty times just to kill them. Quite unfair. And don't even get me started on the bosses. CHEAP....

Besides that though, you've got a great game all around with smooth controls, superb graphics and a soundtrack that blows other games out of the water (especially for the Sega Genesis which I rip apart all the time).

I guess my love for comics plays a huge role in why I actually really like this game, but i can understand why there is such a cult following for it too. Too bad they released it so late, because if it wasn't for other game systems being out, this could have been a big one in terms of popularity.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Nerdicus NES Review #186: Double Dare

Title : Double Dare

Publisher : GameTek

Developer : RARE

Genre : Game Show

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $10 - $15

Ahhh, the memories of childhood afternoons watching Nickelodeon. All the great shows were on that channel. You had Weinerville, Nick Arcade, Eureka's Castle, Legend's of the Hidden Temple, GUTS, and of course, DOUBLE DARE. Sure these were the "live action" shows, and I don't even have to get into the list of cartoons. When you were a kid, your life REVOLVED around Nickelodeon.

Channel 22 for the old school cable box users who had that old switch box. AM I RIGHT!?

 When you tell me that Nintendo released a DOUBLE DARE game, I can't help but think that this is going to be my only opportunity to take part in the show that every kid dreamed of.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't want to crawl through an ear canal filled with gooey wax just to grab a flag. And who DIDN'T want to get slimed!? I remember going to Nickelodeon Studios in Florida and with my parent's to take my to a live taping. Never did....ah well. Guess I had to stick with the TV. 

So, when this game came out, I had to play it like there was no tomorrow. In fact, it came out for DOS in 1988, but I don't even remember having a computer back then, so I must have only played it on the Nintendo. Sure, it's Double Dare...but you can't even compare it to the TV show.

This is the type of game that you practically NEED to play with a friend. After all, it's the closest you're going to get to a real live Double Dare competition, so you need to bring your friend in on it. Complaint #1 however...that does NOT look like Mark Summers. And it's weird how your forced to choose one of each gender...did Double Dare only pick out the generic American Family with a Mom, Dad, Bro and Sis?! Seriously!?

It plays out just like the TV show however, with 2 rounds of 10 trivia questions (which are utterly random) and of course the Obstacle Course. In between trivia questions, there's also the "challenge" obstacles that you'll have to play and those were always the best. Gotta love it when the families said in unison....after whispering to each other of course...PHYSICAL CHALLENGE. BRING IT ON SUMMERS!!!!

Speaking of Summers...who remembers Summer Sanders...I had a little bit of a crush on her lol.

Trivia rounds are preceded by toss up challenges where you'll do a basic "physical hit the target challenger" Winner gets control of the "board" so it's not that really a big deal. But forget about that, let's get into the mechanics.

The trivia section is's like Jeopardy. But no one cares about the Trivia portion. It's all about the physical challenges, and here is where the game flounders. The controls are clunky, and it is incredibly sluggish. All the kids must not be physically adept because they run as if they are weighted down with cement shoes.

But at least they do pull a lot of the obstacles from the TV show. You'll encounter these if you make it to the last obstacle course (which you'll lose anyway, just like 99% of the kids on the show)


Of course, if you do win, you'll be granted some killer prizes that'll pop out of the back of your NES console. That would be incredible, right?

What can you expect from a game like this? Not much, but as a kid you expected the world. Graphically, it's meh. The soundtrack is okay. But it's the controls and speed that kill it. It's the slowest moving "race" against the clock in a physical based game show.

Still, it does kick up a lot of nostalgia, and it's not THAT bad. Best with a friend, so you can goof off on how you wish you were actually on the show. DARE....DOUBLE DARE!

Final Score (out of 5)

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Nerdicus SNES Review #67 : Contra 3 : The Alien Wars

Title : Contra 3 : The Alien Wars

Publisher : Konami

Developer : Konami

Genre : Run and Gun

Players : 1 / 2 Player

Release Date : 1992

Estimated Value (as of today's date) $35 - $45

Forget about the Konami code, because it doesn't work in this game. Hell, this hellish joyride is surely going to make you piddle your pants and cry to your mommy. Sure, I'll go as far as saying it's not as difficult as the first game for the NES, but anytime you see the name CONTRA, you know you are in for a torturous albeit epic gaming experience.

One thing must be said about this game, the box art is amazing. Floating, fiery demon heads in the clouds. A giant skeletal robot thing bursting out of some hole in the wall, creepy bug robots, and angry marines blowing everything to smithereens. I'm sold!

This time, instead of invading the Alien turf and destroying them where they stand, the Aliens are COMING FOR YOU!! It's an all out "ALIEN WAR!" (hence the title) and these two primary color wearing marines are the world's only hope. Do you have what it takes to push the armada back from whence they came and save the galaxy from falling into an alien rule!?

Oh...yeah..forgot to mention. Bill and Lance aren't here anymore. Of course, they'd be dead because it's like 200 years in the future or something. This time, you're Jimbo and Sully....really...Jimbo? SULLY? Is this Monster's INC!? COME ON are bad with names.

Much like the previous Contra, this game is best served with a heaping scoop of 2 player goodness. After all, what better way to get a bullet to the face than with a friend? A friend and choosing the highest lives cap possible. Need I remind you...the KONAMI CODE DOESNT WORK! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT!? Well, at least they let you choose up to 7 lives (like that's enough...)

Right off the bat, you can tell that Contra 3 is taking full advantage of the technological prowess of the Super Nintendo. You can't get much closer to the arcade classics than this version and it really went all out. This time, there aren't just simple side scrolling and back perspective levels as in the past. Now you've got motorbike chases, missile hopping, and mode 7 galore top down views....which I admit made me nauseous lol.

Gameplay, it remains exactly the same. Blast your way to victory, collecting power ups and destroying bosses. Why change a formula that's been working for a few games already? Hell, this is probably the closest you'll get to the original Contra (which is still the best to me)

Upgrades are the real focus in this game, and you've got all the classics like multi-shot, missiles, and lasers. But there's a few new ones like the flame thrower and barrier shield that will assist you. It's all about picking what's most comfortable to you. At least you dont have to rapidly tap buttons since the blaster cannon is already an automatic.

There's three difficulty modes that you can choose from in this game. You've got easy mode (which is honestly a bit too easy), normal mode (which reminds me of the original Contra), and HARD..which is basically asking to be killed. The real difference between all these difficulty settings is really how the enemies act, and react. Boss fights are the real kicker because bosses will actually introduce new movesets in harder difficulties as well as having less weak spots.

But, you better work your arse off to beat the hard setting, because that's the only way you're going to be able to see the TRUE ending. That's right've gotta beat this game at least twice. Once in normal, and then again in hard to fight the REAL last boss, and get the REAL ending. I won't spoil it for you...because I don't know what it is...because I've never done it. HA!

What isn't there to love about this game? It's a visual masterpiece that's a huge step up from the NES versions, with fluid gameplay and excellent controls. My only qualm about the gameplay were those top down levels. Like I said, they were a bit nausea inducing with all that spinning around, but you get used to it and it is a nice change of pace.

Contra 3 also has one of the greatest soudtracks on the SNES. It's nonstop epic jams that make your palms sweat with agitation as you battle the incoming alien forces. I'm actually listening to it as I write this review ha.

If you're a fan of the Contra series, you can't pass this up. It's a must have. And if you call yourself a gamer, you need to at least challenge yourself to beat hard. I'll be trying again later's hoping I can do it..but I won't.

Final Score (out of 5):

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Monday, April 6, 2015

Nerdicus NES Review #185: Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Title : Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Edutainment

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1985

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $40 - $50

A very happy Easter to everyone out there! I'm back from my "mini-vacation", with another quick update. I'll be switching my blog schedule to M-W-F for the time being. I'm swamped with my book edits and other side-jobs and really have to focus on getting those done so I can pitch in the next month. Publishing is fun!

Anyway, I'm back at it, and what do I have to look forward to?

Don't get me started on this garbage. Listen, I'm all for education, but the last thing I need is math equations interfering with my Donkey Kong playing. Hell, there is a reason why Nintendo decided to toss future edutainment games out the window after DONKEY KONG JR. MATH. BECAUSE IT DIDN'T SELL...AT ALL!! They overproduced this garbage, thinking parents would be all over it, but nope. Any parent that bought this for their child was greeted with tears and screams of their children. 

"MOM!?! How am I supposed to play a game if I have to solve long division equations!? WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME!"

Followed by utter abandonment by their children, and their video game lives being ruined. Luckily, I didn't have to suffer through this, because I already suffered through the monstrosity of some Math Racing game for the Atari. The only way you can move your car forward is if you solve a math problem. No thank you. I'd rather just press a button and go faster.

Hmm..maybe my distaste for math in video games is the reason why I am so bad at math today. *shrugs* Probably.

Anyway, let's get this garbage over with. Oh why couldn't be like edutainment games that are out know..actually fun!?

Even the title screen is depressing. Look at big bold letters..And it doesn't even give you an option for player 1 or player's CALCULATE..or + - X exercises! WHY!! Where is the QUIT option!!!

Here's how the game're not even trying to beat Donkey Kong, or rescue him. Nope, he's challenging his little brats with math problems. CALCULATE A is the easier of the two, so of course I'm playing that because knowing my lack of math prowess I would fail miserably at CALCULATE B.

Donkey Kong will hold up a number, and it's up to you to create a math equation to reach that number. Sounds fun? Yeah, exactly.

Take a look at this one. You've got +16. So in order to reach 16, you can find a number 8, and use the multiplication symbol and add a 2. 8 x 2 = 16. YOU WIN! Of course, you can go about it any way you want. In two player mode, it's basically a race to see who can make a formula quicker, and thus getting bragging rights.

I'll say it one more time....the game is NOT fun.

 It's funny to think how a game like this has crappy controls, but it does. Controlling JR is a pain in the arse, and I REALLY don't like the fact that I'm climbing vines to make my choices of numbers or symbols, but they really are trying to combine game mechanics and education mechanics. 

One of the reasons why I feel like this never works. 

Visually, it's the same as the other DK games, just with more numbers on the screen. In fact, the only thing this game has going for it, is the music which is only SLIGHTLY entertaining.

God, why did I have to review this. What's the score? You guessed it. A big FAT 1. And how do you get to 1? 1 + 0 = 1...this game deserves a 0 though.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Nerdicus Genesis Review #49: Combat Cars

Title : Combat Cars

Publisher : Accolade

Developer : Accolade

Genre : Racing / Vehicular Combat

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1994

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $4 - $5

APRIL FOOLS!! Yeah, I really don't care for this "day" because of people trying waaaaaaay too hard to pull pranks. But, I'll tell you one prank I pulled that was beyond epic back in the day. One day, while my folks were at work and I was home from college classes, I decided to set up a bit of a crime scene at my house. I taped up my driveway, and a few doors with caution / police tap. Spilled a bit of fake blood all over the ground, and drew a chalk outline. But it wasn't any chalk outline. It was a chalk outline of MICKEY MOUSE. The reason? Well, my mom is a huge fan of Disney, and I figured the best way to piss her off was to kill off the rat. It worked, she was pissed, but first she thought everyone in the house was brutally murdered. Good times...good times.

Well, on to a Sega game. Feels like it's been ages since I reviewed one, and here we are with a pretty damn crappy one. COMBAT CARS. It seems like so many of these vehicular combat racing games were done back for the SNES / GENESIS and even PS. Of course, the only one that ever comes to mind is TWISTED METAL, which is the best in my opinion. Sweet Tooth for the win. Although, not as much racing, as it is killing each other. This is more in line with Mario of.

I apologize in advance for comparing it to Mario Kart...truly..I am sorry.

Like most racing games, each racer has it's own strengths and weakness when it comes to speed / handling / defensive / offensive capabilities. So, choose whoever you are most comfortable with. For me, it really didn't matter because the game bored me to the point where I only tried to cars and gave up. But here's who you can choose wise..I don't even know who's who anymore, ha.

  • Jackyl
  • Sadie
  • Ray
  • Mekmac
  • Metro
  • Growl
  • Mama
  • Andrew

Gotta, love those names, right? Mekmac? Metro? Growl!? That's not even a name...what is it with the future where everyone adopts dumb ass names. Each racer has their own unique weapon specific to them. There's a lot of 'em, from shotguns, to missiles, to oil slicks, to nitro boosts..and other random weapons that aren't even weapons. Honestly, I barely used them because I was too busy focusing on the damn race tracks which are a pain in the ass to follow.

There's 24 tracks in this game, and each one is a thousand times worse than the last. It's an overhead perspective, and the camera is so damn close to your car that you barely have any time to react when you approach a tight turn. Hell, I've spun out and collided with walls just because I had NO IDEA what was ahead of me. Seriously, racing games are not meant to be designed like this. Not unless the camera is zoomed all the way out, or you give me a freaking map of the course!

Between each race, you'll win money which acts your score. You of course want the highest score in order to rank higher, but you also need to spend money to upgrade your vehicle. This is where you have to decide how much you want to spend, and what you want to spend it on. Don't spend too much, because then you'll end up in a lower rank. Seriously, just let me spend my damn money.

Problems with this game? Well, I already complained about the racing portion, and that's the entire game so do I really have to list anymore? Controls are garbage, how about that. Graphics? Meh, it's better off on an 8-bit system. Sure, colors are nice...occasionally.

Music? That's the surprisingly the only thing I enjoyed!

Listen, you want a combat racing game? There's plenty of others out there. Avoid this one. It's cheap trash.

Final Score (out of 5):

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!