Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Nerdicus Genesis Review #49: Combat Cars

Title : Combat Cars

Publisher : Accolade

Developer : Accolade

Genre : Racing / Vehicular Combat

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1994

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $4 - $5

APRIL FOOLS!! Yeah, I really don't care for this "day" because of people trying waaaaaaay too hard to pull pranks. But, I'll tell you one prank I pulled that was beyond epic back in the day. One day, while my folks were at work and I was home from college classes, I decided to set up a bit of a crime scene at my house. I taped up my driveway, and a few doors with caution / police tap. Spilled a bit of fake blood all over the ground, and drew a chalk outline. But it wasn't any chalk outline. It was a chalk outline of MICKEY MOUSE. The reason? Well, my mom is a huge fan of Disney, and I figured the best way to piss her off was to kill off the rat. It worked, she was pissed, but first she thought everyone in the house was brutally murdered. Good times...good times.

Well, on to a Sega game. Feels like it's been ages since I reviewed one, and here we are with a pretty damn crappy one. COMBAT CARS. It seems like so many of these vehicular combat racing games were done back for the SNES / GENESIS and even PS. Of course, the only one that ever comes to mind is TWISTED METAL, which is the best in my opinion. Sweet Tooth for the win. Although, not as much racing, as it is killing each other. This is more in line with Mario of.

I apologize in advance for comparing it to Mario Kart...truly..I am sorry.

Like most racing games, each racer has it's own strengths and weakness when it comes to speed / handling / defensive / offensive capabilities. So, choose whoever you are most comfortable with. For me, it really didn't matter because the game bored me to the point where I only tried to cars and gave up. But here's who you can choose wise..I don't even know who's who anymore, ha.

  • Jackyl
  • Sadie
  • Ray
  • Mekmac
  • Metro
  • Growl
  • Mama
  • Andrew

Gotta, love those names, right? Mekmac? Metro? Growl!? That's not even a name...what is it with the future where everyone adopts dumb ass names. Each racer has their own unique weapon specific to them. There's a lot of 'em, from shotguns, to missiles, to oil slicks, to nitro boosts..and other random weapons that aren't even weapons. Honestly, I barely used them because I was too busy focusing on the damn race tracks which are a pain in the ass to follow.

There's 24 tracks in this game, and each one is a thousand times worse than the last. It's an overhead perspective, and the camera is so damn close to your car that you barely have any time to react when you approach a tight turn. Hell, I've spun out and collided with walls just because I had NO IDEA what was ahead of me. Seriously, racing games are not meant to be designed like this. Not unless the camera is zoomed all the way out, or you give me a freaking map of the course!

Between each race, you'll win money which acts your score. You of course want the highest score in order to rank higher, but you also need to spend money to upgrade your vehicle. This is where you have to decide how much you want to spend, and what you want to spend it on. Don't spend too much, because then you'll end up in a lower rank. Seriously, just let me spend my damn money.

Problems with this game? Well, I already complained about the racing portion, and that's the entire game so do I really have to list anymore? Controls are garbage, how about that. Graphics? Meh, it's better off on an 8-bit system. Sure, colors are nice...occasionally.

Music? That's the surprisingly the only thing I enjoyed!

Listen, you want a combat racing game? There's plenty of others out there. Avoid this one. It's cheap trash.

Final Score (out of 5):

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!



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