Monday, April 6, 2015

Nerdicus NES Review #185: Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Title : Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Edutainment

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1985

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $40 - $50

A very happy Easter to everyone out there! I'm back from my "mini-vacation", with another quick update. I'll be switching my blog schedule to M-W-F for the time being. I'm swamped with my book edits and other side-jobs and really have to focus on getting those done so I can pitch in the next month. Publishing is fun!

Anyway, I'm back at it, and what do I have to look forward to?

Don't get me started on this garbage. Listen, I'm all for education, but the last thing I need is math equations interfering with my Donkey Kong playing. Hell, there is a reason why Nintendo decided to toss future edutainment games out the window after DONKEY KONG JR. MATH. BECAUSE IT DIDN'T SELL...AT ALL!! They overproduced this garbage, thinking parents would be all over it, but nope. Any parent that bought this for their child was greeted with tears and screams of their children. 

"MOM!?! How am I supposed to play a game if I have to solve long division equations!? WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME!"

Followed by utter abandonment by their children, and their video game lives being ruined. Luckily, I didn't have to suffer through this, because I already suffered through the monstrosity of some Math Racing game for the Atari. The only way you can move your car forward is if you solve a math problem. No thank you. I'd rather just press a button and go faster.

Hmm..maybe my distaste for math in video games is the reason why I am so bad at math today. *shrugs* Probably.

Anyway, let's get this garbage over with. Oh why couldn't be like edutainment games that are out know..actually fun!?

Even the title screen is depressing. Look at big bold letters..And it doesn't even give you an option for player 1 or player's CALCULATE..or + - X exercises! WHY!! Where is the QUIT option!!!

Here's how the game're not even trying to beat Donkey Kong, or rescue him. Nope, he's challenging his little brats with math problems. CALCULATE A is the easier of the two, so of course I'm playing that because knowing my lack of math prowess I would fail miserably at CALCULATE B.

Donkey Kong will hold up a number, and it's up to you to create a math equation to reach that number. Sounds fun? Yeah, exactly.

Take a look at this one. You've got +16. So in order to reach 16, you can find a number 8, and use the multiplication symbol and add a 2. 8 x 2 = 16. YOU WIN! Of course, you can go about it any way you want. In two player mode, it's basically a race to see who can make a formula quicker, and thus getting bragging rights.

I'll say it one more time....the game is NOT fun.

 It's funny to think how a game like this has crappy controls, but it does. Controlling JR is a pain in the arse, and I REALLY don't like the fact that I'm climbing vines to make my choices of numbers or symbols, but they really are trying to combine game mechanics and education mechanics. 

One of the reasons why I feel like this never works. 

Visually, it's the same as the other DK games, just with more numbers on the screen. In fact, the only thing this game has going for it, is the music which is only SLIGHTLY entertaining.

God, why did I have to review this. What's the score? You guessed it. A big FAT 1. And how do you get to 1? 1 + 0 = 1...this game deserves a 0 though.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!



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