Nerdicus NES Review #42 : Arch Rivals

Title : Arch Rivals

Publisher : Acclaim

Genre : Sports

Players : 1 / 2 Player

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $4-$7

Looking at the box art, I don't even know what to expect with this. Are we going to be slipping on banana peels and giving each other wedgies on the basketball court? I mean, I don't mind parody sport games as there were quite a few on the NES that I actually liked, but this just looks absolutely ridiculous. 

it's basically a no holds barred basketball..sorry..BASKETBRAWL game. You can do whatever the hell you want in this game and not get fouled. And I'm talking anything. You can literally punch the opponent in the face to steal the ball. I guess I'm playing this game for a laugh, so let's see just how funny this crap is.

What's that I hear? Something reminiscent of NBA JAM? HE'S ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!

Before you even start the game you have to go through 5 or 6 screens of instructions. Didn't bother reading them. Don't care. TLDR.

For my match up, I picked Natural High...because I liked their glasses. And no one will punch someone with glasses. And it looks like I'm up against Chicago. Is that Michael Jordan? Knowing the licensing issues I bet it's Miguel Joradache.

So i don't know who they are, but once you pick your team, you pick the player you want to control. I picked a dude named Blade. Because who WOULDN'T pick a guy named Blade. So the game starts, and what's the first thing that happens? I get punched in the face. 

And that's about it. You run back and forth. Punching each other as much as possible to steal the ball, and running back to get a basket. Just like basketball, just no rules. Shots are completely random. I've made shots from one side of the court to the other. On the other hand I couldn't make a basket from two feet away. Oh, and you constantly get interrupted after each basket by cut scenes. It can be the opposing teams coach making a disgruntled gesture, or maybe the crowd cheering, or the ref blowing a whistle. Totally unnecessary, and a waste of time.

The game isn't good. It's also not terrible. It's definitely meant to be played with a friend, as there's nothing better than pissing off a buddy in a game like this. It's all cheap tricks. There's just no strategy involved. Just keep wailing away at the player and beating the crap out of em until you get the ball back.

So with friends? Very fun. Against the PC? Boring crap.

I'm tempted to give the other versions of this game a whirl just to see if its closer to NBA Jam, but as for this version, it's nothing special.

Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go punch someone.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!