Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Nerdicus NES Review #104 : Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle

Title : Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle

Publisher : Kemco

Genre : Action Platformer

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1989

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $5-$10

Taking a trip with Bugs Bunny through a crazy castle should be a guaranteed good time, right? We all know how crazy Looney Tunes are, so this has to be downright bonkers! Picture you, Bugs, and all his friends going on a whacky adventure trying to collect carrots! As it turns out, Bugs has no friends...which is pretty sad. Everyone hates him, and wants him dead. Do we want Bugs to die? No, but after playing this game, we might. 

This game may have Crazy in the title, and it certainly does drive a person mad. At least it got that part right.

You know, as much love as I gave Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout, I just can't do the same for this crap fest. First off, I never owned it, but I did remember renting it back in the day. I vividly recall getting so damn frustrated with this game that I cried. I wish I was joking. This game made me cry. How about you, did a game ever make you cry? Not because it was difficult, no no, which it is for the wrong reasons, but because it was so incredibly horrible.

Apparently this Crazy Castle series was made with multiple characters, such as Mickey Mouse and Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit starred in the Japanese version, so of course what easier way to make a new game, then just by changing the graphics of the Rabbit in the Bugs Bunny version. But right now I'm stuck in the Bugs Bunny loop of hell thanks to the alphabetical choice I made to review this games.

Bugs Bunny must have made a wrong turn at Albuquerque with this game. Speaking of which, why was he always digging tunnels around Albuquerque? Got to love recycled Looney Tunes gags in their cartoons.

Whatever, let's get this over with.

When this game says "Push Start", I really suggest you turn the power to your NES off and put this game back on the shelf. If you're brave enough to continue, then may God have mercy on your soul. This game is a platformer, but it's hard to even call it that. What kind of platformer game doesn't even let you jump?

Instead of jumping around, you're avoiding all the enemies on the screen, or collecting items to help you destroy them. You'll need to run and down stairs, use elevators, or use pipes to position Bugs so you can drop an anvil on their heads. Or boxes. Or safes. Or flower pots...OH THE SLAPSTICK HUMOR! It does no justice in saving this game. Over sixty levels of wandering around, getting trapped up against the wall, and dying. Fun, right?

Speaking of enemies, a few of your favorite Looney Tunes characters make a mindless drone of an appearance. You've got Daffy, Sylvester, Wile E. and Yosemite Sam to make your life a living hell in this game. It's even more entertaining when you see like ten of them on the screen in different colors. Lazy much?

So, what else do you do in this game besides avoiding other toons? Well, you collect carrots of course. Why does Bugs need to invade a damn castle to get carrots. Go to the grocery store. In fact, I think a game of following Bugs to the market to buy carrots would be more entertaining than this.

Crazy Castle also gains high marks in being one of the most repetitive games in NES history. There is no variation in levels besides the locations of stairs and platforms. Each level is the same. Get a carrot. Go up some stairs. Go down an elevator. Avoid some enemies. Move on to the next. It's entirely mindless. 

You may be thinking about where my frustration lies? Well, the fact of the matter is, it is downright impossible to figure out any plausible plan of attack for each level. The enemies are so inconsistent in the way they move, that they never do you any sort of favor.

This game reminds me slightly of a game called Keystone Capers that came out for Atari, where you chase a bank robber around multiple levels of what looks like a mall. But that game actually required some sort of strategy and skill to meet your goal. Just look at that screenshot above. How does that look fun? That looks like a pain in the ass to me.

Here's the last straw. You throw a rabbit like Bugs Bunny in a game, you let the damn rabbit jump. He's a rabbit. Rabbits jump. That's it. No more.....until I have to play the next Crazy Castle game.

Ugh, I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!