Monday, June 30, 2014

Nerdicus NES Review #109: Caesars Palace

Title : Caesars Palace

Publisher : Virgin Games

Genre : Casino Simulator

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1992

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $3-$5

As June comes to a close, we are back to the NES with one game that everyone seemed to own back in the day. I'm not exactly sure why...Perhaps our parents bought this in hopes of teaching us at a young age what it takes to be a professional gambler? I don't know about you, but I'd much rather play a Casino simulator if the console actually spit out real money if I won.

Imagine the NES
What better way to feed your gambling addiction, than by playing a video game version of high stakes casino simulation over at Caesars Palace. Obviously, it's based off the famous casino over at the Las Vegas strip (which I've never been to, and I'm not sure why).

Pull out a cigar, order a stiff drink, and take a seat at one of the tables. It's time to show the house what we're really made of. Oh, wait? We only have $2,000 to work with? Dammit...I'm going to blow this in one hand, aren't I?

I'm going to outright say that the best part of this game has to be the disclaimer they give at the introduction. It specifically states that this game should NOT be used for realistic gambling purposes. HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh man, then why give it to underage kids? Seriously, makes no sense. But now it makes me regret NOT using this game for gambling purposes and ripping my friends off of their lunch money.

Oh, and another favorite bit from this game, is the music. It sounds EXACTLY like Maniac Mansion (which holds a place in my top five for favorite NES games). So when you have a game like this, rip the music right from my favorite, you're in trouble. Although I do enjoy listening to it lol.

Anyway, in CAESARS PALACE you are given the opportunity to drain your digital wallet against the house in five different casino games. Slots, Video Poker, Roulette, Black Jack and Big Six Wheel. I've played all these games in real casinos, except for Big Six Wheel. I don't even know what that is. Sounds like a carnival game. Anyway, let's breeze through this, shall we?

You'll be taken to a "map screen" where you direct your cursor over the game you want to play, or if you're done playing back to the cashier where you can cash out.

The first thing I tried to do was see if I can trick the computer into repeating some plays so I can use it to my advantage. No such luck, and I was too lazy to check the internet to see if there were any glitches. Ah well, time to earn money the legitimate way.

Much like real casino, I found myself wandering back and forth between games, testing my luck until I got on a lucky streak. And that's where the real point of this game lies. It's just to prove to you how often the house wins, and how much gambling really blows. I think I had to reset the game like three or four times before I actually started winning money. I would blow everything I had in the first few hands.

Slots is by far the worst way to's entirely random and I saw no pattern with the way it rolls. Avoid this at all costs. Video Poker at least involves a bit of strategy, but I swear to God the computer was out to get me. I don't think I ever drew the card I was looking for from the "video deck". This casino is rigged I tell you.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Roulette. That's just a joke. That's three games to avoid, now on to the last two.

It appears the only way I am able to win any sort of cash in this game is to play Blackjack. Ironic that this is the only way I've ever won money in an actual casino too. Now, as for Big Six Wheel.....I just gave up. I was so bored of this game by the time I got to try it out I was just done.

Now for the fun part. What do you get for gambling on the NES? Why, the more money you win, the better car you'll drive away with! Do you want to see what I won?

A cab ride back to the hotel...

This game was one of the biggest waste of times for the NES, and is a constant reminder as to why gambling games on consoles are just plain dumb unless you're playing multiplayer and for real money. You want to have fun? Grab a group of friends, a few beers, and play some texas hold 'em. $50 buy in...there. Go. Leave this game to the dust on your shelf.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!



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