Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Nerdicus Genesis Review #35: Bonkers

Title : Bonkers

Publisher : Sega

Developer : Sega Interactive

Genre : Action Adventure

Players :  1 Player

Release Date : 1994

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $5

I hate Bonkers. I hate absolutely EVERYTHING about Bonkers. In my eyes, he is one of the worst Disney characters ever conceived. You probably ran into this show in the early 90s when you spent most of your afternoons glued to your TV watching Toon Disney or the The Disney Afternoon. 

Come on, you remember that. It had some great shows like Tail Spin, Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers, and Darkwing Duck. Then there was this garbage. An irritating, spotted bob cat or something who was a Toon Cop. He was actually a washed out cartoon actor, who decided to join the force. In a way, the cartoon was somewhat reminiscent of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the only difference being that Roger Rabbit was incredible, and this was pitiful.

The characters were uninspired. The theme song was irritating as hell - you know it...Bonkers..bonkers..bonkers..BONKERS!!! WHEREVER YOU..WHEREVER YOU..WHEREVER YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!! BONKERS! Damn, I hated that song.
You follow Bonkers and his idiotic coworkers in solving cases, where of course Bonkers is a complete idiot and screws up all the time, but magically manages to solve it. Seriously, I changed the channel every time.

Well, with every Disney cartoon you have got to have a video game to go along with. So of course, here is Bonkers the video game on the Sega Genesis. Shoot me now.

The game centralizes around the plot that there is an Officer of the Month trophy being given out, and Bonkers wants it. He wants it bad. So bad, he's willing to kill anyone who gets in his way. Not really....no - he just needs to capture four baddies that are pulled from his animated series:

Ma Tow Truck
The Rat
Mr. Big (no, not from Sex and the City)
Harry the Handbag

I don't even know who these villains are, since I didn't watch the show, but whatever. Go catch 'em. In order to do so, you basically have to play a whole bunch of mini games. I'm not sure if that's what they were going for with this game, but that's what it feels like.

The objectives for each mission make absolutely no sense. You're trying to capture the criminal, but in most cases you are not even interacting with them. Sometimes you're running around a warehouse filled with boxes, avoiding rats. Another time, you are in a museum throwing donuts at mole people. I don't even know what's going on. Even in the screen shot above, I don't even know what the hell I was supposed to be doing? Helping the guy build a brick wall?
It doesn't help that the control scheme in this game is incredibly stiff and unresponsive. Running around feels like you're dragging Bonker's feet through the mud, and trying to attack things is like throwing a ball with a broken arm. Can't express how much it annoyed me just to get past one level. In fact, the only level I enjoyed was the last one where you're driving around in a police car. Probably because I didn't have to see Bonker's face.

Now, is there anything going for this game? Sure, the music and the graphics are actually quite impressive. I'm serious when I say that the visuals are the most appealing I've probably seen on the genesis in a long time. That's one thing I'll say about Disney games for the 16-bit consoles. They were certainly pleasing to the eye.

Music is a bit entertaining, and the sound effects are alright, but it doesn't really help in holding up the games other downfalls. In other words, this is a game you should pretty much stay away from. Unless your a fan of Bonkers. In that case, don't talk to me. I don't like you.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next time - Keep on Gaming!



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