Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Nerdicus Genesis Review #53: Cheese Cat-Astrophe starring Speedy Gonzales

Title : Cheese Cat-Astrophe starring Speedy Gonzales

Publisher : Sega

Developer : Cryo Interactive

Genre : Action Platformer

Players : 1

Release Date : 1995

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $20 - $30

Let it be known that I despise this little rodent. How I wished that Sylvester would eventually creep on him and that damn yellow bird, Tweety and devour them, snapping their bones with his teeth and letting their pitiful bodies rot in the sun. A vile image? Maybe, but him and Tweety were quite possibly the most obnoxious and hated Looney Tunes characters ever devised. Who liked them? Seriously? They were the biggest pains in the arses, and luck was always on their side. It's as if Sylvester could never catch a break. I feel the same damn way about the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote. Pisses me off!! Who's the good guy!? NOT THEM! Think about poor victimized Wile E. and Sylvester.

Ugh, so of course now I have to play through some Sega Genesis game starring this sombrero-wearing rat. Can't I just run him off a cliff? And let's start this game off with a play on words...CAT-ASTROPHE. They had to go there. And look, even on the cover Sylvester is getting ridiculed.

Damn Rat!!!! Hope he chokes on that damn cheese. By the way, this game was only released in Europe apparently on PAL systems, but for some reason I have a copy. No idea why, and I wouldn't normally review PAL games but since I played through it I felt like I was stuck doing so. Talk about self-inflicted torture. Let's get this over with.

Sylvester, under his alter-ego, Dr. Cheesefinger ( I don't get it ), has stolen all the cheese from Speedy Gonzales' village and has lured all the little vermin into traps by use of a cheese substitute called cheesoid. I'm not making this up. Oh, and he also kidnapped Speedy Gonzales' girlfriend, Carmel. Sylvester should have just taken the opportunity to chop every single one of those rats up, throw em in a pot, cook em up , and have himself a nice dinner. Forget about Speedy! Let him live out the rest of his days in torment as he realizes his entire village and girlfriend have succumbed finally to the bowls of Sylvester!

Can you tell I hate him?

Well, now I have to play as Speedy, in which you'll go across numerous platform style levels, rescuing other mice, and collecting bits of cheese all the while avoiding Sylvester's traps and lackeys trying to kill you. I honestly had more fun watching Speedy meet his end in numerous ways rather than proceed with the game. Trust me, it's not hard. The game's quite annoying to control.

The game involves a lot of exploring, as the levels aren't necessarily linear. You've got to pretty much check out every nook and cranny, jump down holes, climb up platforms, all until you find 3 annoying mice per level, at which point you can finally exit. Oh, and of course this may be a desert-based game, but there is always an under water level. What's a platforming game without the irritating water level, eh!? Oh, and don't plan on getting any help as to where the mice are. The game doesn't offer any form of assistance, and half the time since everything looks exactly the same, you would assume that you were already at the location you are exploring, but chances are you weren't and then you end up missing the damn mice. Not fun. Quite boring. And a piss-poor level design in which you can barely see what's ahead of you doesn't help.

Speedy is equipped with two classic platforming attacks. The good 'ol jump on the enemies head, and of course flinging some sort of weapon in which this case it would be your sombrero. Both methods of defending yourself most of the time end up being absolutely useless because the hit detection in this game makes absolutely no sense. You may THINK you've jumped on their head. But you didn't. And then you're dead.

GOOD! KILL SPEEDY! Watch his cheese-shaped life meter dwindle and turn into a pile of mold. Resist the temptation to collect the cheese power ups and let the rodent die.

Just when you thought this game couldn't get any worse, it introduces the password system. WOW! I haven't been victim to one of these in awhile, but to make it even worse you have to collect carrots for Bugs in order to get a password. The game doesn't even give them to you by default! What sort of BS is that!?

Seriously, the only good thing the game has going for it is it's entertaining animation style, the quite good artwork, and the Looney Tunes styled music. It really does feel like a cartoon, but I'd rather watch one than play this crap again.

I'm going to go back and watch Speedy die on a loop. Adios!

Final Score (out of 5)

Until Next Time, Keep on Gaming!



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