Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Nerdicus NES Review # 84 : Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Title : Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Publisher : LJN

Genre : Adventure

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1991

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $3-$5

Like, there is nothing more bodacious than playing an awesome video game with two totally epic dudes from San Dimas. Who am I talking about? Like, I'm totally talking about the utterly righteous duo, Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan. And together, they make.....

WYLD STALLIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I really wanted to do this review by just talking like Bill and Ted the whole time, but then I realized that it's probably going to annoy you just as much as it would annoy me. BUT I'm going to throw some of that lingo in there anyway. Because I feel like it.

Now I am going to admit something here, that's probably going to shock a lot of you. I was in love with this game when I was a kid. I can't lie. I didn't even get far in the game because I had no idea what the hell I was doing half the time, but I sure as hell wanted to be Bill and Ted.

Admit it, you did too. And you wanted a most excellent friend like Rufus!

Now the game itself, well, it's made by LJN so of course you know it's going to be totally not-cool. Right, dudes? But we've got some time travelling to do my radical bros. So whip out your air guitar and get ready, because we're going on a most triumphant EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!

As you would guess, you play as Bill and Ted on an epic journey through the temporal continuum to help rescue historical figures from evil time space bandits. Now if that isn't a most radical journey, I don't know what is. We have to hurry though, because if we don't Bill and Ted are going to miss out on the concert of a life time that will launch their careers!
Totally not cool bro.

First you choose a phone number that's wrong which indicates that someone is messing with that time period. Once you punch in the number, you get to jump in your payphone booth and ride the time circuits through history! Sort of?

I can't lie, I still don't know what the hell to do in this segment. It always just seems to work out for itself, so I let the phone booth do whatever the hell it wants.

Depending on the level you choose, you play as either Bill or Ted in which you must scour the landscape searching for totally awesome clues to find hidden items and your kidnapped victim. You do so by jumping around, avoiding most totally not cool villains, talking to some awesome common folk, and eventually being led in the right direction.

I'll tell you, it's downright frustrating though.

First of all, it's almost impossible to figure out where the item is hidden on each stage. It's all a bunch of guessing and randomly stumbling upon it. The fact that some items just pop up when you jump over certain objects just makes absolutely no sense. You can't even attack enemies. For the most part you have to jump twenty feet over them (because you can), or you throw things around to distract them. If the enemies manage to get you, you'll either lose some of your items or get sent to jail. It doesn't matter though, because you can just leave.
And good luck jumping around - you'll just end up falling on your arse. For no particular reason. If for some reason you get extremely lucky and find the items, you're able to lure the historic person out and bring them back to the other time period. 

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!! not really....

As bad as this game is, the one good thing it had going for it was the Bill and Ted humor. At least when they're on screen they've got some pretty decent banter. Reminds me of the movie....but only so much.

This game was obviously made by a bunch of medieval dickweeds. If you're a fan of Bill and Ted, give it a shot but don't expect it to be anything remotely close to what your wildest dreams have.

It's one of LJN's most excellent games. And by excellent games, I mean a most totally unrighteous one.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!



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