Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Nerdicus NES Review #91 : Blues Brothers

Title : Blues Brothers

Publisher : Titus Software

Genre : Platformer

Players : 1 / 2 Player

Release Date : 1992

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15-$20

Sometimes you really have to wonder where they come up with some game ideas. If there was one duo that I would think would NEVER get a video game, it would have been the Blues Brothers. Don't get me wrong, I love the movies, I love the SNL skits, and Jon Belushi and Dan Aykroyd are PHENOMS. 

But you can't make a video game out of a pair of smug blues musicians trying to get to a concert.....you just can't.
I really think the ONLY thing good video game wise that came from the Blues Brothers are the Runaway Five from Earthbound. If you haven't played Earthbound, shame on you, but if you did you of course remember the blatant rip off which is superbly done in that game.That should have been it. That should have been the only Blues Brothers related persona we saw in video games.

Leave it to Titus to go and make a game about them rushing to get to a concert in the veins of a traditional platformer. There is only one thing left to do. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

When you look at the title screen, you think to yourself "Oh, this might be pretty good. Take a look at those graphics." Well, that's about as good as you're going to get with this broken game.

This is one of those games that just beats you while you're down. You can't win, and you never will. You start off by choosing one of the Blues Brothers to basically send head first into a death drag race. All you're going to be doing in this game is running at top speed, holding your hat, and trying not to die.

But you will die. A lot. So much in fact that you will probably die more times in the first level of this game than would in every level of Ninja Gaiden. It's not only because the game is almost impossible to control, but you'll end up glitching yourself out so many times in walls and in monsters that you'll just be forced to reset.

No joke, I played this game for 15 minutes, and I've gotten stuck at least ten times. I fell INTO a wall..and couldn't get out.

So what exactly do you do in this game besides running? Nothing really. Occassionally you can jump up on top of a bulldog for some reason and run even faster. God knows why you would WANT to be able to run any faster than you are now, but you have that option.

You can go around collecting little green heart things to build up your health meter. It's not like that would help or anything since you're going to die anyway. Those green fart blobs are eventually going to sneak up on you and kill you. I don't even know what the hell those things are supposed to be.

The only saving grace for this game is the music, which is some great chip tune renditions of some blues music. That's about it. That's all this game has to offer. If you want to be frustrated for 20 minutes, then by all means give this game a go. Otherwise, stick to watching the movies. Any of em. It doesn't matter. Anything is better than this.

John Belushi is rolling in his grave right now thanks to this monstrosity.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!



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