Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Nerdicus SNES Review #21 : Batman Forever

Title : Batman Forever

Publisher : Acclaim

Genre : Brawler

Players : 1 / 2 Player

Release Date : 1995

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $7-$10

Happy Memorial Day, everyone (late one day, I know). Hope you all had a chance to enjoy some good BBQ'ing, but also took the opportunity to thank all our servicemen and women. Without them, we wouldn't be where we are today. They've sacrificed more than you know, so while we do have Memorial Day, every day should be considered a day of respect and reflection on what they do for our country.

So, in celebration of the newest Batman flick...wait, what's that? Oh, it's a Superman movie? Yeah, I'm sure. Batman is already stealing the show after that crap fest of Man of Steel. Seriously, if you want to debate me on the quality of Man of Steel, feel free to contact me. I can go on and on and on about how much was wrong with that film.

Wow, I get sidetracked. As I was saying, since the updated Batman suit and Batmobile were revealed last week, I figured it would be the perfect opportunity to review some 16 bit Batman games. They were next on my list so why not! The 90's brought us some truly crappy Batman movies. Without Michael Keaton, the Batman Forever and Batman and Robin were downright awful. Tim Burton built the universe and Schumacher went a little bonkers on these. Of course, these films presented a great opportunity for publishers to whip out some hastily made movie games.

Riddle me this...was Batman Forever a 16-bit brawler classic? Um, not likely.

There were a lot of brawler games released on the 16-bit systems. A lot of it was probably due to the fact that systems were actually able to replicate, to some degree, what arcades were doing. It didn't always work, and here we have a prime example.

The one bit of entertainment this game has to offer is the fact that you can play as Batman and Robin, in a co-op setting. Hell, you can even set it up so you can beat the crap out of each other while still looking out for enemies. This is one of those games that is best played with a friend, because at least then you'll have an opportunity to laugh and cry at the absurdity of this game with someone who can appreciate it's poor quality.

Like most brawlers, you've got your health meter at the top, along with the enemies health meter right below. You'll never be too overwhelmed by enemies on the screen, and my guess is because the game was just not designed to handle a lot of characters on screen. Which brings me to my next point. Just how visually UNAPPEALING this game is.

Think back to your 16-bit gaming days. What was one of the biggest gimmicks around at that time? You know it. It was that "live action" filming and character mapping. Every character on the screen was portrayed by some actor who was dumped into the video game. But this game just took the cake. Each character looked like he was involved in some really bad cos-play event at a Comic Book convention. Just look at Robin. That is NOT robin from the movies. Hell, that's not even Batman. 

Visually, it's utter trash. The animations aren't even fluid , and each character walks around like they have a dump in their pants. Not to mention it doesn't help that the game moves sooooooooooooooo slowly that it doesn't even feel like a brawler. No action movie is this slow. Each battle takes minutes, just because it takes a few minutes to walk from one side of the screen to the other to encounter an enemy. 

Don't even get me started on the enemy AI. It's atrocious. They'll start punching at the air before you even get close to them. But don't worry, you can attack enemies from afar. That is, if you can figure out how to use your utility items.

Yup, that's Batman using his grappling hook. A grappling hook to nowhere. The sad part is, there's a lot of times where you have to use items, but you can't figure out the controls to use them. You'll be stuck smashing buttons until something happens. A lot of this games difficulty is due to the fact that you can't master the controls. They are a downright mess. 

Either you have to press buttons in a certain order, or you have to even use combinations of buttons that make absolutely no sense. Hold R, then release right before you press A slightly after tapping B three times and twisting the Y button and pressing select+start simultaneously. That may sound fake...and it is...but that's how bad it is. And that's just to swing a punch.

Okay, punching and kicking is easy because it's one button. But good luck doing anything else.You'll be dead before you can even try. But are you read for the best part of this game? I know, right? It gets better....is that you can never even play it.....

You'll see this screen A LOT. The game is literally telling you to hold on. It's telling you to wait, because it can't load fast enough. That is just inexcusable. You're in a groove of fighting, switch screens and THEN................hold on.

That's it...I'm done...screw you, Batman.  You now rank up there as one of the worst SNES games I have ever played.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time, keep on gaming!



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