Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Nerdicus Genesis Review #29: Bimini Run

Title : Bimini Run

Publisher : Nuvision Entertainment

Developer : Microsmith

Genre : Third Person Action

Players : 1 / 2 Player

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $2-$4

If there was ever a Miami Vice the game, this is it.

This game made me scratch my head. I didn't even know what Bimini Run was supposed to mean. What's a Bimini? I googled it and discovered that it's the westernmost district of the Bahamas and the closest point to mainland US. Thanks wikipedia! So, based on the box,  I'm assuming we're going to be shooting a lot of people from speedboats in the Bahamas.

Sounds safe. And that's exactly what we're doing.

When I first looked at it, and thought to myself "oh boy, this is going to be garbage", it turned out yup, I was right. Okay, Bimini Run is actually not bad, it's horrible. It's just off the wall crazy. I mean you're speeding your way past boats (friendly ones mind you), trying to take out enemy targets all the while being shot out in every direction. But it's the same thing..over..and OVER..AND OVER AGAIN. It doesn't stop. I can only blow up so many boats before I get bored. And I got bored pretty damn fast.

But with any Third Person arcade styled action game, there's always a story. A bad one. And guess what? This one involves a kidnapping! OH, HOW ORIGINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your sister is kidnapped by some vile Doctor, and it's up to you and your friend to ride a long in a speedboat, kill everyone in your way, and rescue her. Very James Bond-esque if you ask me. In fact, I can see this entire game being ripped straight from a Bond movie. Not that it's bad thing mind you.But if an entire Bond movie was a bunch of boats blowing up each other...yeah..not fun.

Each map has it's own objective, usually dependent on how many boats you have to destroy in order for you to move onto the next level. And that's about it. After each level someone will talk to you and say "HA, TRICKED YOU, that's not the right boat. You've gotta blow up THIS boat." So you go blow up that boat, and then they say "JUST KIDDING, he got away."
It gets to the point where you want to smack the TV upside the head, and tell it to stop messing with you.

So as your speeding your away across the choppy ocean, you'll encounter boats, more boats, some more boats, and the occasional helicopter. Then more boats. Luckily you'll be able to shoot down all these bad guys with an endless onslaught of orange balls and big red balls! They're supposed to be machine gun and bazooka fire, but I like calling them big balls.

This game is like those traditional flight simulator shooter games like Ace Combat. Only difference is, you're in a boat. And you're dressed like Don Johnson. When you're not blowing things up, you'll get the opportunity to look at your overhead map, to figure out sort of where you're supposed to go to find the missing boats or next objective. The map is cute, especially when you see the people waving at you in the water. 

Oh drowning people. Fun.

The game is bad. Real bad. Despite the repetition through each level, the graphics are low grade for a 16-bit system, the sound effects are droning, and you'll be bored of it within ten minutes. If you make it that far.

If you're looking for real entertainment entitled BIMINI RUN, go read the book. Apparently it's a hoot.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until Next time - Keep on Gaming!



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