Nerdicus NES Review #184 : Donkey Kong 3

 

Title : Donkey Kong 3

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Arcade

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1986

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

My apologies for the delays between reviews everyone, but my schedule has been incredibly hectic the last month. I'm building up my youtube channel now for my Let's Suck Videos as well as Retro Haul pick ups, so that's taking up a lot of my time as I attempt to get that ball rolling. It's a hell of fun though, so I'll say that much! Not fun playing through all these crappy games again though one at a time! Thank God, I'm not attempting to beat them all...hahah. So if you're looking for a laugh, and a crappy gamer playing crappy games, check out the channel! Here's a link - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAOo7kEqWeLGfudA8FMJSUw

Besides that, I'm working on a lot of writing projects that are taking up a HUGE amount of time. First off, I'm developing a comic script with a friend of mine that we hope to stop banging out within the next few months. A little online project we've wanted to do for awhile, separate from the old web comics we used to do that were just 3 panel strips. This time, it's more of an online graphic novel. Will post more info on that once it gets closer.

AND finally, I'm working on edits for the next book my agent and I are looking to submit to publishers, so that's the biggy. And if any of you have ever written a book before, and know about the editing, proposal, and submission process...you know how mind numbing it could be!

So, it's time for another Donkey Kong game, and we're at it with DONKEY KONG 3. A weird, little arcade mix where you're literally blasting Donkey Kong up the butt with a water gun. I don't get it...I really don't. But that's really what you do.

This time, instead of playing as JUMP MAN. You're playing as STANLEY THE BUG MAN. Yup, BUG MAN. Donkey Kong apparently has decided to invade some violent hives of jungle insects, which are destroying Stanley's flowers. So, of course, as Stanley, you need to stop Donkey Kong. With a high powered water hose....up the butt....

The game is actually loosely based on another arcade game called SPACE FIREBIRD, that I never played before. It's like a cut and paste, with the Donkey Kong image just plastered all over. I'd prefer Donkey Kong anyway...he's so angry when he gets smacked in the butt with water. Angry enough to climb up a vine and shove his head in a bee hive.

The game is a tad bit different than DK 1 and 2 because in this game, you're not trying to get to the top. Instead, you're running Stanley from left to right, and blasting Donkey Kong and the bugs in order to get Donkey Kong to the top of the screen. He's constantly dropping along 2 vines, and you have to dodge all the incoming insects and focus on spraying him until his head reaches a bee hive and gets trapped inside.

You'll be granted a super soaker spray gun every so often that allows for some insane rapid fire, and really helps in blasting Donkey Kong up quicker, but it only lasts a few seconds. So you really need to take advantage of it when you can.

Much like all the other DK's, there are only a few levels that end up repeating and increase in difficulty. Faster bugs, Faster DK, and more finger mashing. 

There's one major flaw with this game. It doesn't feel like Donkey Kong. In fact, it's probably the worst of the 3 arcade games. Sure, its a bit more visually appealing than the rest, but the game doesn't seem to offer that much in terms of challenging gameplay. It's more of a button masher.

Another wrong direction move was that there are only 3 different level designs, instead of the typical 4. I know 4 isn't even a lot, but they couldn't just work on making one more? The game is just too damn repetitive as it is, and even in the higher difficulties there's not enough variation to make it interesting.

Unfortunately, this game didn't hook me as much as the other two, and in a way fails as really setting itself apart from other arcade classics. For me, it felt like it was just milking the DK name. 

Shame on you DK..prepare yourself for more water in your butt. Enema time!

Final Score (out of 5)



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Read More

Nerdicus SNES Review #66: Congo's Caper

Title : Congo's Caper

Publisher : Data East

Developer : Data East

Genre : Action

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1993

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

It seems like I'm reviewing some sort of Caveman game every week, don't you think? There must have been a huge market for them because I'm thinking about CHUCK, BONK, JOE & MAC, and of course here we are with CONGO'S CAPER. Of course, you really need to put CONGO'S CAPER and JOE & MAC in the same boat, because this is basically a sequel to those games. 

You wouldn't really know that though, because it's only a sequel in terms of the Japanese version, but you can tell...just look at the character design and the visuals. It's like the same damn game ha. Although, this guy looks like a mini saiyan don't you think? D'awwww, cute little monkey tail!

Hell, I'm a sucker for dinosaurs though. Speaking of which, anyone see the game trailer for LEGO JURASSIC PARK!? Sign me up! But for now, let's play some CONGO'S CAPER!

It's time for another rescue mission. This time we're trying to save Congette from the evil clutches....of some...winged, devil, monkey. I don't know what the hell it is, but it's creepy. You play as, you guessed it, CONGO who is a super kid. See? Told you he was a saiyan! His hair even turns blonde when he gains his super powers! I KID YOU NOT! He actually has a couple of forms. Basic monkey form, then his kid form, then SUPER MONKEY KID form! Oh, how entertaining this game is. And don't forget that big arse club you have to wallop enemies with.

CONGO'S CAPER plays exactly like the Joe & Mac games. Run from left to right, defeating enemies, and encountering a boss at the end of each stage (with stages being divided into levels..actually..what's the proper terminology? Stages? levels? boards? Who knows!). Well, there are a whopping 24 of them. All the while, you'll be collecting jewels that not only racks up your score, but allows you to transform. Three jewels is the max transformation you can have, so try to keep it at that and avoid getting hit. HA, have fun with that.

Don't worry though, the game is basically easy mode. You'll find yourself literally having over 50 lives by the time you get to the end of the game.

This game, to me, is basically taking JOE & MAC and fixing everything that was wrong with it. They've added more depth with what Congo is capable of doing. It's not just running and jumping now, since Congo can swim, climb, push things, grab things, throw things, etc. Levels appear more diverse, and there is a wider range of "paths" to get to the ending, including a lot of hidden areas that are always a blast to uncover.

The newly designed levels, although reminiscent of the old JOE & MAC games, are a bit more challenging in the fact that the platorming elements are difficult. Then again, controls in JOE & MAC were a joke, so I'm not sure if you can blame it on that.

One of the biggest things this game corrected however is the horrendous hit detection that JOE & MAC dealt with. It's pretty much entirely fixed with this game, and thank GOD because there are so many more damn enemies to deal with.

If you like dinosaurs, and you enjoy playing as a monkey-caveman, then CONGO's CAPERS is a great game to pick up and add to your collection. Visually, it's still one of my favorite games to look at it, and it has one of the most killer soundtracks for a platforming game on the SNES.

But, as I said before, Dinosaurs always suck me in. Cute, little, TREX arms. You can't grab on to anything! Silly dino.

Final Score (out of 5)



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Read More

Nerdicus NES Review #183: Donkey Kong Jr.

Title : Donkey Kong Jr.

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Arcade

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1986

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $15 - $20

Happy Monday, folks! Sorry for the delayed review (and short because holy cow I'm actually swamped at work! That's a shocker). We're moving on to Donkey Kong Jr. which is a nice little twist from the original Donkey Kong. And no, Donkey Kong Jr. isn't Diddy Kong or anything. In fact, I forgot what it was from the cartoon series...but isn't Donkey Kong Jr. the Donkey Kong from Donkey Kong country, or am I completely wrong?

Remember? That CG cartoon that used to be on TV? It had that old Kong, that I actually think was the Donkey Kong from the arcades, and DKC DK was DKJR....looks like I have some research to do, unless someone wants to fill in the blanks for me lol.

This was another one of those games that tortured me. Why? Because it's insanely difficult, and the game just tortures you left and right. Me and Arcades do NOT mix. AT ALL>

Still, look at that one piece underwear bit he's wearing. So cute...SUCH A CUTE LITTLE MONKEY..er ape..

Instead of rescuing a damsel in distress, you actually are tasked with rescuing DONKEY KONG from the clutches of the vicious Mario. Think about it. Mario just kills everyone with no regard for anybody's feelings. He's the real bastard.

The concept otherwise remains the same. Get Donkey Kong Jr up to the top of the map and vanquish Mario (temporarily) in order to rescue your pops. Of course, Mario will be tossing anything he can at you in order to halt your progress. I'm talking flaming barrels, electric balls, and killer spikes. Oh, and you also have crazed wild animals to deal with like annoying birds and what I think are mosquitos. At least I think they are. Or maybe they're floating alligator heads on ropes. WHO KNOWS! The game is bizarre with their enemy slection.

There's four stages, each with a different theme that repeat every time you cycle through them. Difficulty of course increases with each pass through in terms of the rate of speed at which enemies come at you, and the randomness. Hell, I have a hard time getting through the first pass.

The only difference between the goals of the four stages, is that on the fourth stage you need to to unlock the cage that DK is trapped in. Sort of like how in the first DK you need to remove the pillars in order to have DK fall.

Some people may think that this is just a copy and paste of DK, which it sort of is, but the play through as DK JR and the redesigned levels still give the game a fresh look and feel. Controls seem to be a tad bit smoother and ab it more user friendly, and I didn't find myself having as hard of a time dodging the incoming projectiles.

Still, the game is also one of the most difficult arcade games out there, as well as being one of the most famous ones. I still have a few more DK games to get through, so bear with me on this. But trust me, I'm having fun reliving the torture that is DK. GOOD TORTURE.

Now someone explain to me who DK JR is again....

Final Score (out of 5)



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Read More

Nerdicus Genesis Review #58: Columns

Title : Columns

Publisher : Sega

Developer : Sega

Genre : Puzzle

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date): $1 - $3

First thing I want to do before I get into this QUICK (and I'm talking quick, because there is not much to talk about when it comes to puzzle games in my book), is unveil the WINNER of my first blog giveaway.

Drum roll please? I'm literally tapping on my desk very loudly.

JOE WILHELM! CONGRATULATIONS!! You are the new, proud owner of your very own Nintendo Entertainment System retro starter kit! I'll be sending you an e-mail later on today to confirm so please respond asap, otherwise I'll have to pick a new winner! And we won't won't that now would we? Well, maybe the other people will lol.

Anyway, most of my other contests will actually be moved over to SUB contests for my YouTube channel which I'm trying to build up, AND if you haven't done so already, TODAY is the last day to sub and sign up for the 50 sub contest. Here's the link the video, and all you have to do to enter is comment on the video on what your favorite PS1 or PS2 game was. It's that easy!

50 Sub YouTube contest - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFZg_elxp1Y

Now, on to the review. In the land of Facebook puzzle games a la Bejeweled, it's hard to remember where all these games originally stemmed for. It was such classics as Tetris and Columns that really built the basis for these games. Sure, I think of Tetris as the "OG", but Columns certainly did manage to make a name for itself.

Think of it as Tetris with a twist, with just as good music, ha!

COLUMNS follows the same basic principle has most "column" or "block dropping" games. In Tetris, you just needed to fill in all the gaps and make a straight line, but in Columns you need to match various gems to one another in order to clear out the blocks. 

The screen is set up as two rectangular "game areas" - two because you can play this game simultaneously with another player, which is always fun when having a little competition. A set of three, different jewels will fall from the top of the screen, with a preview of what's coming in the middle. As the blocks follow, you'll need to position them by switching the jewels using the directional pad so they match up how you want them to. Basically, it's like moving the blocks around in tetris, but now you're moving the jewels and the direction of the blocks. 

A little bit more complex, but not by much.

Once clearing out a set of jewels, the blocks drop down and more can disappear if the colors end up matching diagonally, horizontally, or vertically. Much like Tetris, you'll see a huge number of blocks disappear if you can execute a nice little combo.

There's also a nice little "magic gem" that'll make it's appearance every so often. Once this lands on the pile of blocks, it'll randomly change into a certain gem and clear out all the like gems surrounding it. A good way to get yourself out of a pickle.

The game's difficulty is basically based off speed settings, so the jewels fall faster giving you less time to figure out how to position them. It's not for the faint of heart mind you, and the panic ensues once the music speeds up letting you know that you are near death! DEATH!!!!!

COLUMNS is a great puzzle game, that has made it's home on many a Sega consoles, after all it was strictly a Sega feat. Besides the typical "how long can you last mode", there is also a time trial mode in which you just try to rack up as many points as possible in a given time, and a "mining" mode in which you try to break through a large pre-determined blocks.

The game is colorful, the music is great (although not as memorable as Tetris), and the game does it's job.

Not much more to say here, Sega does it right with this puzzle game, and I do enjoy it every now and again, but this one is more my Dad's cup of tea. He was obsessed with these games. Me? Give me Mario or Sonic.

Final Score (out of 5):



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Read More

Nerdicus NES Review #182: Donkey Kong

Title : Donkey Kong

Publisher : Nintendo

Developer : Nintendo

Genre : Arcade

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Release Date : 1986

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $10 - $15

If there are two words that can define the Golden Age of gaming history, they would have to be DONKEY KONG. Or maybe PAC MAN. Or DIG DUG. Or Q-BERT, although that's not really two words, so you know what I'm sticking with DONKEY KONG. It doesn't matter who you are, or if you are a gamer or not, you know what DONKEY KONG is. Who can possibly forget a giant ape responsible for kidnapping some mustache wielding Italian's girlfriend.

To me, DONKEY KONG is one of those games that will forever haunt me as one of the most difficult I have ever played. I can outright say that out of all video games, I have never been a victim to the first screen so many times as I have in DK. The game is one of the most difficult arcade games ever conceived, and it will screw with your head at every turn. I REFUSE to believe that there are patterns, because there are not. And those that are the record holders, well, they must be doped up on arcade steroids to master this game.

Speaking of which, has everyone here seen A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS? If not, get off my blog right now, go on Netflix or I even believe it's on YouTube, and WATCH IT. By far, one of the best video game-based documentaries ever made.  Do it. Now.

There's a lot more to the history of Donkey Kong, despite it being the introduction of DK himself and "JUMPMAN" aka, MARIO. After all, these are two of Nintendo's most iconic mascots. We also have Mario's long lost love who he must have dumped, Pauline. Whatever, Peach > Pauline anyway.

Not to mention, DK was when Nintendo really broke into the American market. In fact, it was probably the stepping stone into Nintendo's conquering of the video game scene. So, of course, they had to release it on their Nintendo Entertainment System. And it doesn't get much better than this in terms of arcades. That is, if you have the patience and the galls to attempt to conquer it.

Without further adieu, the masterpiece that is DONKEY KONG.

Donkey Kong has a simple, yet very challenging concept. Get Jumpman (Mario) to the very top of the platforms to temporarily rescue Pauline from the vile clutches of the rabid ape. Of course, it's not that easy. Donkey Kong will be hurling barrels from his perch at you which can either roll down the ramps in a straightforward manner, or take odd turns and tumble off the side when you least expect it. The only thing you can really do is time your movement, and jump over the battles, or if you're lucky enough us the ever-so-powerful Hammer to break your way through.

Unfortunately, barrels are the least of your worries. At later levels you'll have to deal with moving platforms as well as other baddies including rolling fireballs, and spiritual wisps that tend to pop out of nowhere to kill you instantly. The slightest touch will send Mario to his doom, and guess what, you have to start right from the beginning again.

The game, ultimately, is all about precise timing and hand-eye coordination. Without, you're doomed from the start.

You want to try to score as many points as possible in this game, not only because the game is all about getting that HIGH SCORE, but also because you want to try and rack up bonus lives as early as you can. You're going to need them.

Despite the games difficulty, there are only four different level types in the game, so you'll find yourself looping through the games level scheme fairly quickly. However, they do appear to get gradually harder. Now I don't know if that's me imagining things, but by the time I got up to level 6 or so, I felt as if there were more enemies and everything just moved faster. The game must have been playing tricks on me, but it's not like I got much farther than that anyway. This game has a number on me, and its Gorilla #2. Get it? #2? Poo?

Once you beat four levels, you basically defeat Donkey Kong and rescue Pauline, but the game loops over and over again so you have to just keep rescuing here again and again. It's a test of patience. Seriously, does the game end? Someone figure it out for me, because I can't do it.

You can't look at this game and expect top-notch visuals. It was released in 1986 and it was an arcade game that wasn't about graphically prowess. It was all about the arcade feel, and the puzzle solving skills. There was no unnecessary fluff, and the only things on the screen were things you needed to see. Hell, if there was anything else besides a black background I probably would have been too distracted.

This game has some of the most memorable music and sounds in video game history. No one can forget that sound of Mario jumping, or the famous HAMMER music. You can hear it in your head now, can't you?

Gameplay - it's near perfection and still remains to be one of the greatest arcade games of all time that will continue to survive for generations to come. Never played it before? Get on it. Just be prepared to die.....A LOT.

Final Score (out of 5) :



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Read More

Nerdicus SNES Review #65: The Combatribes

Title : The Combatribes

Publisher : American Technos, Inc.

Developer : Technos Japan Corp.

Genre : Beat 'Em Up

Release Date : 1990

Players : 1 / 2 Players

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $20 - $25

First bit of news...the GIVEAWAY IS OVER!!!! I will be selecting a winner this week, so stay tuned, and be sure to keep your eyes peeled because if you win, I'm going to need you to contact me! Thanks to everyone that entered, and good luck to all of you!

Not really sure what I'm looking at here in terms of the box art. Are they a dance troupe? Is that the guy from Dancing with Wolves or Last of the Mohicans in the background? What's with Kim Catrall over on the left? Are these guys not embarassed that they are battling roller skating teenagers and middle-aged motorcycle riders while donning leotards?

And, what the HELL is a COMBATRIBES..Is that COMBAT + TRIBES? Or is it a gang? Is that Guile!? And MC HAMMER!? AND....oh my god....is that Steven Segal!?

Nope, it's just a crappy beat 'em up game for the Super Nintendo. The box art should have been self explanatory in this. Sure, the arcade was somewhat decent, but when you have games like FINAL FIGHT out there, you don't want to waste your time playing this. And this is actually somewhat surprising, given that this company brought us such classics as DOUBLE DRAGON and RIVER CITY RANSOM. Unfortunately, it looks as if the jump to the 16-bit consoles didn't work in their favor.

You certainly have your fair share of options for this game. 1 Player, 2 Player, A / B vs modes. Take your pick, but don't plan on having much fun with any of them. Go with the 1 player story mode (don't even ask about the story, I don't know I skipped it), or if you're with a friend and you plan on suffering together, do the 2 player. Versus mode is exactly what it sounds like. It's just like the mode from DOUBLE DRAGON where you can fight one on one with various characters from the game.

The game plays like a glorified Double Dragon, but only in terms of visuals. In fact, the gameplay just feels off. Controls are a bit stiff, and the area in which you are able to fight seems so damn small because the characters are too big for the screen. Sure, in Final Fight the characters are big, but at least the screen is zoomed out a bit so you could see more.

It's a standard beat 'em up, but you can only punch, kick, or deploy a special punch/kick combo. There are no weapons. NO..WEAPONS. What a bummer. I want to pick up a pipe and bash it over someone's head, but now I can't!

You'll traverse numerous levels, encountering much of the same enemies over and over again and battling overpowered bosses at the end of each stage. Have fun with them, because they move twice as fast as you do, and seem to connect with you even if they don't even have correct hit boxes. I swear, I was punching a boss in the face, and out of nowhere he sends me flying across the screen ripping away half my health.

The game is just not balanced. It's reminiscent of the torture I went through with Double Dragon in the NES, but the difficulty in that was about learning enemy patterns. Here, I just felt like I couldn't touch anything in the game without getting barraged with enemy fists. 

Visually, the game annoys the hell out of me. I hate the character designs since they look like bad cartoons, and the backgrounds are so disproportionate that it doesn't make sense half the time. Back to the characters, even their anatomy is messed up. Short little legs and arms, big heads, tiny feet. I don't know what they were going with here.

Only thing I can say I enjoyed about this game was the soundtrack. The score is actually quite well done, and really feels like it was ripped from the arcade. Nice upbeat, techno styled fighting music goes a long way.

Still, if you're looking for a good Beat 'Em Up, stick with Final Fight, or go back and play the classics on the NES if you want some good memories of this company. Shame on you COMBATRIBES. You failed me.

Final Score (out of 5):



Until Next Time, Keep On Gaming!

Read More