Friday, March 7, 2014

Nerdicus NES Review #77 : Battle Tank

Title : Battle Tank

Publisher : Absolute Entertainment

Genre : Tank Simulator

Players : 1 Player

Release Date : 1990

Estimated Value (as of today's date) : $6-$8

Decent simulator games were rare back in the late 80's and early 90's. The problem was, video game technology just wasn't at the point where developers were able to make realistic and entertaining simulator games. If you look at games like FLIGHT SIMULATOR, or even combat based simulations with vehicles in games such as as Battlefield, it's still not perfect. Although Flight Simulator is pretty damn amazing. 

Now if you're trying to release a NES game where you are driving around in a tank, you would want something that's fast paced with an arcade-feel. Well, that's what they tried to do with BATTLE TANK, but it was an absolute failure. Remember the submarine simulator game I spoke about on the Sega Genesis? Now that was supposed to be a legitimate simulation. This game right here though, takes simulation to a new and begrudgingly slow level.

I've never been so bored, being in a tank....then again, I've never been in a tank, but you get the idea.

Think of this game, as a first-person perspective version of COMBAT for the ATARI. It plays exactly like that. Move around a map, find your targets, and destroy them. Oh, and don't forget to listen to the constant drone of your tanks engine sputtering. It was driving me mad just five minutes into playing this game.

So you'll start each mission with a screen telling you exactly what you need to do to accomplish the mission. Like I said, most of it is just blowing up stuff. Either other tanks, helicopters, or bases. You can split between two screens, one being your main hud, and the other being the overhead map showing you where everything is. No big deal there.

Now you will spend most of your time playing this game doing one of three things. 1) Figuring out how to catch up to other vehicles who apparently have turbo boosters attached to them because they always seem to out run you and make 360 u-turns on a dime. 2) Figuring out how to aim your damn weapons, and determining if the smoke screen is actually useful. 3) Getting pissed off that the enemy ALWAYS seems to have perfect aim.

I'm not even joking, I could barely control my damn tank in this game. It just seemed to go wherever it wanted, and I couldn't even figure out how to stop the damn thing after I put my foot on the gas. You've got your weapons which include a 150 MM cannon, a wire which I have no idea what it did, a smoke screen that doesn't work, and machine guns that don't help at all.


The game is clunky. The graphics are horrendous (besides the HUD, the HUD isn't too bad...but everything else on the screen is garbage). The controls are shoddy. And the constant thumping sound makes your ear bleeders.

Just avoid this game. It's more trouble than it's worth. AND APPARENTLY, this was supposed to be a SPACE SIMULATOR turned into a tank go figure.

Final Score (out of 5) :

Until next time. Keep on gaming!


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